Bring a flashlight, it's probably not well lit in there. I also imagine it to be quite slippery so watch your step.
I have a lot of random thoughts twirling through my brain today so I'm going to shoot them from my fingertips and share them with you.
As you may know, I am a Christian. As such, I believe the Bible and everything it says. Well, my mind was wandering yesterday and I somehow started thinking about the creation story. Perhaps, I was influenced partially by Dru's imagined world of talking animals, but I came to the conclusion that in the garden of Eden, animals could talk. This makes sense because if Eve hadn't been used to talking animals, when the Serpent spoke to her she would have been like, "Dude, this snake is talking. Something's up here. I'm going to have to talk to God about this, because that is just not normal." However, she actually responded in this fashion (paraphrased), "Whoa, this snake that is talking to me, which is a perfectly normal thing, is probably right. I totally want to be smarter than God! I'm going to go eat some of that forbidden fruit right now."
And following the pattern of complete randomness with absolutely no logical transitions whatsoever, I will now discuss the dream that I had last night. For some reason, my parents and I were going to Africa. We were planning the trip and then all of a sudden we were there and we were staying in this super fancy hotel. We just skipped the airplane part and I didn't even wonder how I got to Africa when I just been in the United States, because it was a dream so this was a normal sort of thing. For some reason, everyone in the hotel speaks only English, which I also don't find strange. I was going to take the elevator to my room, but when the door opened, there was this really creepy guy in there and nobody else, so I acted like I didn't want to take the elevator after all. So I waited for the next elevator and it was empty so I took it to my room. After another lack of transition, I was seated in the dining room, where there wasn't any food. Not weird at all. All of a sudden, my brother was sitting next to me even though he hadn't gone to Africa with us. He started playing the piano, which in real life he can't play. The really strange part is that there was no piano; it was still just an ordinary table, but piano music was coming out of it nonetheless and I found this in no way bizarre. So he proceeded to play some Rammstein, just like any respectable piano player would. Then he had to stop because some famous actress I had never heard of had to give a speech about why she was so awesome. She was carrying around an Emmy Award, just in case anyone didn't know she was famous, I guess. I decided that this was an excellent opportunity to be elsewhere. I actually had to walk out of the dining room and go to the elevator, no more teleportation for me, I suppose. I was once again the only person in the elevator. This was not built like an ordinary elevator. Well the inside was, but the doors were peculiar. Instead of closing from either side or both sides, there was a door that closed from the top and one that closed from the bottom. I got in the elevator, and pushed the button for my floor, which incidentally was two floors below the lobby. For some strange reason, the elevator ignored my command and decided to scare me. It shot up to the 8th floor and then waited there with the door open, even though nobody was there to get on it. I pushed the door close button but for some reason, the door obstinately remained open. I took my finger off the button and patiently waited for the elevator to decide to close the doors when it was good and ready. The bottom door slid up, but the top door remained open, which was slightly disconcerting as the elevator was now barely big enough for one person. It was even more disconcerting because there was no elevator shaft at this point, just a seemingly endless drop awaiting me if I fell out. The elevator took this opportunity to make a career change. It now tried its very best to become a yoyo. Luckily for me, this elevator had not mastered the skill of shapeshifting and remained elevator-shaped. Unluckily, it really knew how yoyos behave and proceeded to plummet at breakneck speed then ascend at the same speed until I thought it would surely burst through the roof, which at this point I was not even sure that a roof actually existed. It then repeated the cycle about five more times. Luckily enough, I didn't get slammed around or fall out. I did have adrenaline rushing like it had put off all of its shopping until the day before Christmas and my stomach seemed to keep being left either above or below where I was. It was at this point that I made the happy discovery of that handy dandy telephone that is in most elevators in case you get stuck. Even more exciting was the fact that when I opened the cover of the telephone so I could use it, the cover was long enough to partially cover the scary gap at the top half of the door. I frantically used the phone and told them that the elevator was trying to kill me. For some reason, they didn't even attempt to help me or shut down the power or anything. Luckily for me, I woke up soon after.
You might recall that I have OCD. Part of OCD is sometimes having unsettling thoughts that cannot be pushed from your mind, things that you would never purposely think. While usually these come to me in the form of a powerful urge to throw myself off of things that are really high up, such as pedestrian overpasses, which I must resist with all my might, today I had a very strange and different feeling. For some reason, all of a sudden I was certain that I was dead, not like that I had just died or something, but that I had died a while ago and was just sticking around for some reason. My mind was pretty adamantly telling me this, but I combatted it with my excellent logical skills. While my brain argued to me that I really had died in real life during one of my many dreams which include my death, my logic countered with the fact that if I were dead, people would probably not be able to see me or hear me, or freak out when they did see or hear me, because I would be a ghost. Logic overpowered OCD and I confirmed the fact that I am alive. I do realize that I now sound more insane than I ever have, but OCD does this sort of thing and this is the best explanation I can provide for someone who has not experienced it.
You know what song is pretty awesome if you're in the mood for something calm? Acoustic Alchemy by Norwegian Recycling.
I am pretty close to my 100th blog post, which is pretty crazy and will probably not be any different than the ones I always do, but it's still a milestone and I'll probably just start out with, this is my 100th blog post and that's crazy!
I really want some sweet potato fries right now. I also want some chocolate but that is for an entirely different reason.
The movie Mean Girls 2 premieres tonight on ABC Family and if I end up watching it, which I probably will, I'll review it tomorrow.
You may now leave my mind. Please exit in an orderly fashion. The gift shop is located to the right of exit. I hope you enjoyed your tour and hope to see you again soon.