Monday, December 12, 2011
Dealing with Mean Girls-Part Two
Luckily for me, the mean girls just ignored me in high school. There were plenty of them too. I had my small group of friends and everything was pretty good. In college, I had an interesting experience. Maybe it's a little bit of an exaggeration to say that I accidentally joined a cult. See for yourself. Well, I would have linked to the post about that, but I appear to have deleted that post. I'll provide a summary of what happened. I met two girls. They invited me to have a Bible study with them, but it was basically them asking me questions from stuff in the Bible and telling me that my answers were wrong. I started going to church with them and hanging out with other people from their church, because they were really nice people. This was while I was in my wheelchair, so I wouldn't have been able to get out at all if it hadn't been for them bringing me to game and movie nights, which involved having to have two guys carry me up their stairs. (All of their houses had stairs to the main level.) The two girls I had met first texted me every day to say "Have a nice day" and to ask me how I was doing. They brought me groceries so I wouldn't starve to death, since my wheelchair was too wide for the line to get food in the dorms. They started saying some things that I don't believe, and that it does not say in the Bible. They twisted the words in the Bible to fit what they were teaching. The final straw was when we had a Bible study and the campus pastor told us that people will claim that the church was a cult, but rest assured that they are not. Whoa, major red flags. So a few days later, I informed the two girls that I would no longer be attending their church. There were some things that I didn't personally believe. I made it very clear that I was not saying they were wrong. I said that I hope we can still be friends, and they said that of course we can. I sent a private Facebook message to my other friend, Jessica, who I knew they were also having the Bible studies with, as well as another girl who the same thing was happening with. I explained why I was leaving and told them all of the things that didn't match up with what it says in the Bible. I also said that at the Bible study we had, they said they aren't a cult, and no other church I have ever been to has felt the need to tell me that. Jessica agreed with me and also left the church. She's my best friend now. The other girl did not agree. And apparently she told the original girls what happened, because one evening I had to go to the hospital (I don't remember why exactly, but it was an emergency) and after the doctors fixed whatever was wrong, I received a phone call from a very angry one of the two girls. I told her I was in the hospital. She started screaming at me and was very mad. Yes, I did imply in the messages that it was a cult. No, that was not a good idea and I shouldn't have done it. But that does not give them the right to call and scream at me when I'm in the hospital. I hung up on her. This was quite a while after I sent the Facebook messages and the two original girls, who had claimed we could still be friends, had been ignoring me ever since I told them I was quitting their church. I would see them on campus and say hi and they would pretend I didn't even exist. There were about 30 people total from the church who I had become pretty good friends with, and they all turned against me after that. Sure, I said something I shouldn't have, but that doesn't mean that they get to pretend I'm non-existent. I apologized and told them that I had overreacted, but they wouldn't hear it. The worst part was that they had acted like my best friends, but obviously they were faking it. After that, it takes a lot more for me to trust people, since i've seen how two-faced people can be. So I don't have very many friends now, but the ones I have are true friends. And that's what's important. When it comes to friends, I'll take quality over quantity any day.