Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Few things truly terrify me. In fact there are only really two: heights and clowns. So I am going to talk about clowns. Why do they even exist? I swear they're all murderers. Nobody is that happy all the time! And that goes for sad clowns too, you're still creepy. Fun fact: if a person smiles for long enough the exact same way, they look demonic. So clowns are all scary murderous demons. Logic! It's an inarguable fact. And no, my fear of clowns doesn't exist because of a certain movie. I haven't even seen that movie, nor would I ever. I once saw an ad on a bus for a thing called Clowns Unlimited. I literally screamed, "Oh God, no, clowns are frightening enough without being unlimited!" G keeps trying to convince me that clowns are nice people but I refuse to believe it. This fear also extends to people wearing full face masks. People hide their faces for a reason, and it's usually not good. It's unsettling, disconcerting, and whatever other synonyms exist for that word. It certainly doesn't help that there was a serial killer who was also a clown. And that episode of Supernatural, Everybody Loves a Clown, don't even get me started on that episode. And yeah, this post has no pictures on it, because I don't want to traumatize anyone, especially not myself every single time I open my blog. Just imagining doing an image search for the word "clowns" makes me want to go run away and hide and eat ice cream while trying to convince myself they aren't all going to come kill me. So yeah, clowns, you guys scare me so much. If you're a clown, please do me a huge favor and never read my blog again. This fear goes so far that I didn't even give The Bloggess' blog a chance because when I went to check out the hype, there was a picture of a clown at the top of the page. I couldn't exit my browser fast enough after that. This fear is only of real people clowns, not drawings of clowns, so I still enjoy The Simpsons. Anyway, are you afraid of clowns? If not, what is wrong with you?! What are you afraid of?