Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Why Clowns?
Few things truly terrify me. In fact there are only really two: heights and clowns. So I am going to talk about clowns. Why do they even exist? I swear they're all murderers. Nobody is that happy all the time! And that goes for sad clowns too, you're still creepy. Fun fact: if a person smiles for long enough the exact same way, they look demonic. So clowns are all scary murderous demons. Logic! It's an inarguable fact. And no, my fear of clowns doesn't exist because of a certain movie. I haven't even seen that movie, nor would I ever. I once saw an ad on a bus for a thing called Clowns Unlimited. I literally screamed, "Oh God, no, clowns are frightening enough without being unlimited!" G keeps trying to convince me that clowns are nice people but I refuse to believe it. This fear also extends to people wearing full face masks. People hide their faces for a reason, and it's usually not good. It's unsettling, disconcerting, and whatever other synonyms exist for that word. It certainly doesn't help that there was a serial killer who was also a clown. And that episode of Supernatural, Everybody Loves a Clown, don't even get me started on that episode. And yeah, this post has no pictures on it, because I don't want to traumatize anyone, especially not myself every single time I open my blog. Just imagining doing an image search for the word "clowns" makes me want to go run away and hide and eat ice cream while trying to convince myself they aren't all going to come kill me. So yeah, clowns, you guys scare me so much. If you're a clown, please do me a huge favor and never read my blog again. This fear goes so far that I didn't even give The Bloggess' blog a chance because when I went to check out the hype, there was a picture of a clown at the top of the page. I couldn't exit my browser fast enough after that. This fear is only of real people clowns, not drawings of clowns, so I still enjoy The Simpsons. Anyway, are you afraid of clowns? If not, what is wrong with you?! What are you afraid of?
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I can't stand clowns, either. I blame Are You Afraid of The Dark, but there's something innately creepy to that smile. Demonic is the perfect word.
ReplyDeleteYes. This post..
ReplyDeleteI HATE clowns. Mimes, too. I'd say both hates are a bit irrational, but clowns and mimes are creepy as shit. That's one reason I'm glad that I might not be supporting my mother much longer -- she's got a few clown decorations in the bathroom.
The clowns are watching me poop. #shudder
Yes. This post..
ReplyDeleteI HATE clowns. Mimes, too. I'd say both hates are a bit irrational, but clowns and mimes are creepy as shit. That's one reason I'm glad that I might not be supporting my mother much longer -- she's got a few clown decorations in the bathroom.
The clowns are watching me poop. #shudder
Oh God, bathroom clowns?! That's horrible. That's like something that a serial killer would have in their house to further torture their victims.
ReplyDeleteI TOTALLY agree with you. Clowns are NOT fun. When I was in drama school I used to 'sit out' of the lessons where everyone had to wear those weird drama white masks... I hate anything like that! I like your blog though... new reader for sho! :) Love Elle xo
ReplyDeleteI know sooooo many people that are scared of clowns, its not funny.. I think it must be that big goofy smile that they have, oh and the eyes! Me personally, I'm not scared of them, but at the same time, clowns arn't nice to look at either.
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting, Elle and Aaron. I love comments and I'm always happy to see some new faces. I'm glad that everyone agrees with me on this topic. Not that I would mind if they didn't. But I am glad nobody has been rude about it. Of course, by my standards, having a hater would make me a real blogger. Anyway, welcome to my little slice of the internet. I hope you'll enjoy it here. (Rambly comment is rambly.)
ReplyDelete