Friday, April 1, 2011

Sorry for the Delay

I promised you a story yesterday and then I neglected you, and I apologize for that.  But to make it up to you in today's post I will: share the story, review two movies, and proudly let my nerd flag fly, or maybe it's a geek flag; I never did figure out the difference.

Okay, let's all hop in the time machine and take a trip back to Wednesday.  Buckle your seatbelts. Ready the flux capacitator. Approaching 88 mph. Okay, we're there, or rather here.  We are then? But we are also now? In other words, we have safely arrived at Wednesday.  Okay, so the morning started out normally.  I took too long in the shower, grabbed a Pop Tart to eat on the go, and nearly missed my ride.  Completely normal.  I had my first class of the day, Scandinavian Crime Fiction, which is as awesome as it sounds, and then I had 3 hours to kill before my next class, so I went to read a book and get some lunch in a cafe on campus.  I had finished my lunch and was just sitting and reading my book when some random guy came and sat down at the table.  I didn't look up, because I am an intense reader and I was near the end of the book.  He sat there eating for about 5 minutes and then he said, "Hi, I think you're cute and I wonder if you would talk to me."  Imagine my surprise when it's the same guy who had said those exact words to me last year, W, when I was reading a book in a different part of the same cafe.  He hadn't recognized me, but I reminded him.  After we met last year, we never really talked at all.  This time, we talked for about an hour and I found out that he has OCD just like me.  We also love watching movies and we both play guitar.  We ended up exchanging numbers and he asked if I'm around on weekends.  I said that I am and then he asked if I'd like to go out to dinner with him sometime.  I said sure.  Guys, you do not understand how much this never ever happens to me.  It never ever happens.  Nobody ever asks me out to dinner, ever, literally it has never happened.  After that, he walked me to class.

Later that day, I went to basic photography with the hope that I might be able to get an add code and join the class.  I had emailed the professor asking for an add code, but she hadn't emailed me back, and I figure that nothing says I-want-to-be-in-your-class more than, you know, being in their class.  So I attempted that and at the end of the lecture the professor informed me and about 15 other students that she already gave out all the add codes.  Lame sauce.  So after that, it was raining really hard and I sat inside reading my book and hoping that the rain would let up a bit so I could walk over to my friend's dorm and hang out for a little bit before walking to church.  This was a church that I had never been to, and at this point, I thought that it started at 6:30.  Later, I would find out that it started at 6.  Oops.  So I ended up finding the church relatively easily and when I went in I could tell that I was late.  Actually, I could tell that I was late as soon as I read the banner outside that said worship and dinner for students Wednesdays at 6.  So I went in and found my friend.  I soon realized that this was a Lutheran church.  It was pretty different than the other churches I have been to.  We had to recite these things off of a piece of paper and stuff.  Then we had communion.  We all got a piece of bread and dipped it into a cup of what I think must have been wine, and I feel like the bread was sourdough, so it did not taste good, but I thought if I was actually eating Jesus' flesh and blood, it wouldn't taste good either.  Then they were done.  So I had missed the message or sermon or whatever it is that Lutherans call it.  Then we all had coconut soup.  It was Thai and it was really good, and there were yummy cookies too.  After that, my wonderful friend Jessica walked me back to my dorm.  I had to use my crutches, because my right leg was protesting my cruelty of making it walk around all day by being really painful.  It was at least a mile back to my dorm and probably took about an hour.  When I got back, I was the most exhausted that I have ever been in my entire life.  My left leg decided to protest my cruelty to it by giving out when I got into my room.  There was no way I could even stand at that point and I would definitely not be able to get myself into bed, since under normal conditions I have to jump to reach it; it's at least 4 feet off the ground.  While my friend Jessica is the most amazing person in the entire world, she is smaller than me and does not have super-strength, so I called C to see if he could help me get in bed.  He didn't answer so I sent Jessica to knock on his door and see if either of his roommates were there and willing to help me.  C was there and he came to help me.  Unfortunately, while there are many things I admire about C, his huge muscles are not one of them.  This is because he does not have huge muscles.  But between him lifting from under my arms and Jessica lifting my feet, they managed to get me in bed.  Then Jessica left and I gave her advice on not getting attacked by murderers and what to do if she is attacked, since it was dark and she was walking back by herself.  Then C stayed and talked to me about random stuff for about an hour.  We discussed my new rule that I will never go to a hospital unless I am actually dying because of the fact that doctors totally suck.  Then somehow, we came to the conclusion that all "d" words suck except for dinosaurs.  We came up with 5 different "d" words that suck: doctors, dentists, death, doing work, and dehydration.  Then we started talking about sign language and martial arts and injuries we have had in the past.  Then he left and tried to lock my door for me so I wouldn't have to get out of bed to lock it, and then not be able to get back in bed.  He was worried about me falling asleep with it unlocked and getting robbed or something.  That's a legitimate concern.  We have had hobos sleep in our floor lounge before.  I told him that my roommate would be back later and she would lock it, since you can only lock it from the outside with the key or from the inside by pushing the button.  He reluctantly left.  So I feel like he likes me.  He definitely cares about my safety and well-being anyway.  I am going to see if he wants to play ping pong with me tonight in the rec room. Update: He said yes :)

Now we are travelling forward in time to yesterday.  Blah blah blah classes blah blah blah.  Then, my friend K picked me up and she took me to the bookstore so I could sell back some old books and purchase the rest of my textbooks.  I found three books by my favorite author, Dean Koontz, for $4.00 each! That's a really great deal, and then I found another for $8.00.  I also got all of my textbooks.  Then K and I discovered the humor section.  I had the pleasure of reading aloud "All My Friends Are Dead".  This one guy overheard me read only on sentence and looked at me really weird.  In the book, there was a picture of a clown with the words, "I've already made two children cry today."  There were also a lot of zombie books, including The Zombie Pirate Code: A Guide to Becoming the Undead Master of the High Seas and So You're a Zombie, which is full of helpful information about how to recognize humans pretending to be zombies and various zombie karate techniques.  I managed to get pictures of a few of these books.  One of my favorites was Zombie Haiku.  Unfortunately, my camera died so I couldn't get a picture of it.  Fortunately, I memorized one of the haikus for your reading pleasure:
You are so lucky
that I cannot remember
how to use doorknobs.

And now, some pictures of books!

After the bookstore, we rented a couple movies and went to K's boyfriend's to make dinner and watch the movies. K cooked a delicious meal of green beans with mushrooms in them and chicken parmesan something or other. It was a lot of fun even though I didn't like the movies. We watched Rosemary's Baby, which her boyfriend commented should be named Rosemary's pregnancy. It's funny because it's true.  We also watched Dreamcatchers, which is based on a Stephen King book.  I have no idea what he was on when he wrote the book but it must have been powerful, because this movie is seriously weird.  Aliens that burst out of people's colons and possess other people.  They also talk in British accents for some reason.  The only good part of this movie was the part where the guy uses something other than a phone as a phone.  I'm not giving it away just in case you watch this movie anyway, so you will at least be able to get a tiny bit of enjoyment out of it.  But in my opinion, these movies are not worth watching.  They each get a half star out of 5, and that's being generous.

And now, it's the part of the post where I wave my nerd-geek flag in the air like I just don't care, because honestly, I don't.  So have you all watched Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back?  If not, go watch it right now, and don't come back until you're finished.  Okay, so remember the part where Luke is riding his taun taun on Hoth and then he ends up having to slice it open and climb into its warm steaming guts to keep from freezing to death?  Have you ever wondered why he would do that? Well, you'll be happy to know that I know the answer.  (And by know, I mean I completely made something up.)  Luke Skywalker forgot his Snuggie.  I know what you're thinking: Who in their right mind would travel the icy plains of Hoth without a Snuggie? Well, give Luke Skywalker a break.  For one thing, Snuggies weren't even invented yet.  But can you imagine that scene if he had a Snuggie? He would have just continued to ride his happy taun taun instead of having to crawl into its guts.  This scene particularly upset APETTT (Aliens and People for the Ethical Treatment of Taun Tauns).  You can't set foot on Hoth nowadays without being bombarded by APETTT advocates with clipboards asking you to donate just 15 galactic credits a day.  For an additional 15 galactic credits, they will supply one scared and lonely taun taun with its very own Snuggie.

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