Netflix Movies You Should Skip

2 thumbs down!

I watched these movies so you don't have to.  Remember that this is my opinion, but I highly recommend that you don't waste your time watching any of these movies.  Most of them sounded like they might be good after reading the description, and some of them had a great concept but poor execution.

I truly hated these ones:

100 Below Zero: I should have known better.  The whole world-changing natural disaster thing seldom works for a movie, but I thought that maybe it would be so bad that it was good.  It was not.  It was just bad, so very bad.

Alien Uprising: This movie was so boring!  There was barely even a plot.  Then they threw in lots of confusing and unnecessary chronological discontinuities that did absolutely nothing for the barely-existent plot.

Random Acts of Violence: If there's one thing you should know about me by now, it's that I love serial killer movies.  This one was awful.  First of all, it's shot like it's a documentary.  It's about this guy trying to cause more crime in the city to bring back the bohemian and artist types.  He goes around murdering random people and then gets mad when it doesn't help.  The ending, though predictable, doesn't do much to redeem the movie but at least it's a somewhat satisfying ending.  I hated the main character and all of his annoying friends.

I didn't like these ones but I didn't hate them with a passion either:

Pathology: This movie definitely had an interesting concept but I didn't like any of the characters, especially the main guy, who is a cheating liar.

Contracted: This movie had the potential to be so good!  It used becoming a zombie as a metaphor for dealing with being raped.  However the metaphor was a bit too subtle and also a bit confusing.  (For example sometimes people can see signs of something being very wrong, such as her hair falling out, eyes looking weird, but other times they just think she's acting strangely.)  So part of the time I thought that she was actually visibly becoming a zombie but other times it seemed like it was just a metaphor for how she felt.  It was very hard to understand and I think it could have definitely be done better.

Nemesis Game: This one also had potential but it ended up feeling unfinished.  I like riddles and the possibly occult/supernatural thing was intriguing but ultimately it just wasn't pulled together in a satisfying way.

Faces in the Crowd: The face blindness thing was really interesting but the visuals for it kind of made my head hurt and confused me, which is probably how the lady who had face blindness felt.  I didn't like this movie because the main character made so many stupid and risky decisions.  I understand that the movie would have been a lot less interesting and shorter without them but I just kept thinking that nobody would ever do a lot of the things that she did.

I have been watching a lot of Netflix lately, since it's been hot, I've been sick a lot, and also haven't felt like leaving the house most days in the past two weeks.  There were also some movies that I enjoyed and I will be sharing them in the next installment of Watching, Playing, Reading.

Watching, Playing, Reading #6

I'm going to try to do these more often so they aren't so crazy long.

Watching:

Dexter: on Netflix; I tried to watch this show once but I couldn't get into it.  I decided to give it another shot, based on a recommendation from a friend, and I'm so glad I did!  I started two weeks ago and I am already on the eighth, and final, season.  It's about a blood spatter analyst who leads a double life.

I would recommend it to people who like psychological thrillers, serial killer stuff, and who have strong stomachs.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: on Netflix; I have seen all of this show but one of my friends had not seen any of it, so I had to help right this injustice.  We have been having at least a weekly Buffy night with lots of junk food.

I would recommend it to everyone who likes witty shows, shows with strong female characters, and supernatural shows.

The Boondock Saints: on Netflix; I watched this with N because he said it was his favorite movie in high school and he hasn't seen it in awhile.  I really liked it.  It's kind of similar to Dexter, as far as the vigilante justice stuff goes, and was pretty funny at times, which I appreciate with my action movies.  This movie is about two Irish brothers who decide to kill bad guys together.

I would recommend it to people who like some humor with their action movies, people who like vigilante justice themes, and people who like Irish accents ;)

Deadbeat: on Hulu; I watched the whole season of this in a single day.  It was really funny and I literally laughed out loud the whole time.  It's about a guy who can see and talk to dead people.  He helps them move on to the afterlife.

I would recommend this to people who like shows like Family Guy and The Simpsons.

Playing:

Flash games!  I used to be pretty addicted to these, so I cut myself off for a long time until I could play in moderation.

Edgar's Dream: This is an interactive art game with elements of Edgar Allen Poe.  It is cool, fairly easy and quick to play, and suitably creepy (especially with the sound on).  (I didn't want to go into that tiny hidden door because I expected to find pretty much what I found in there.)  To make it creepier play it late at night with the lights off like I did.

screenshot from the game; this part is reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland

White Door Room Escape:  Escape games and point-and-click games are my favorite kinds of Flash games.  This one was okay but I didn't love it.  It is written in Japanese but that doesn't affect the gameplay.  It was pretty easy and I completed it in under five minutes.  I prefer my escape games with more "logical" escape puzzles, such as having to put together electronics and find tools to aid in your escape.  This one was just finding various codes and then being able to escape after finding them all.

Reading:

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: I have wanted to read this book ever since Allie announced that it would be a thing that would exist.  I waited and bought a used copy on Amazon because I am poor thrifty, and I read it in a single day.  This used to be a standard occurrence for me with books but I haven't finished a book in one day since I graduated high school.  Sure it helps that a lot of this book is pictures, but still. 

I would highly recommend this book to everyone who has a sense of humor and likes to laugh out loud when reading books.

Watching, Playing, Reading #5

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Watching:

Community: (which the picture above is from) I actually signed up for Hulu Plus just so I could watch this show and it was so worth it!  You can get a free trial of Hulu Plus here and if you sign up for a free trial there I'll get two weeks free, so everybody wins!  I love this show so much.  It's about a group of people who form a study group at a community college and all their crazy adventures and crazy professors.  It's zany and witty and silly and sometimes emotional.  And the characters are so great.  My favorites are definitely Troy and Abed.  They play so well off of each other.  I finished watching all of the seasons in less than a week.  No regrets.

I highly recommend this show to everyone who likes shows such as The Office, Parks and Recreation, How I Met Your Mother, and 30 Rock.

Firefly: on Netflix; I watched all of it in one day.  I loved it and I want more.  My favorite characters were River, Simon, and Kaylee.  Simon and River's relationship as brother and sister is so beautiful.  And Kaylee and Simon obviously really like each other but they're both super awkward about it and it's adorable.  If you don't know, this show is about a group of people flying through space together in the future and undergoing various criminal adventures with lots of danger.  It's so much better than my description made it sound, and it's got that great Joss Whedon humor that you might have enjoyed in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I would recommend this show to everybody.  Seriously, if you haven't seen it go watch it right now.

About a Boy: a newer series on Hulu; I am enjoying it so far.  It's got an uptight mom, a player neighbor man, and a kid who just wants to do kid things like have fun and eat tasty food.  The kid took quite a liking to the neighbor guy, but will the guy learn anything from the kid?  We'll see.

I won't recommend this one just yet because it's just three episodes in, but I do like what I've seen so far, so if you've got some time it's worth checking out.

Breaking Bad: on Netflix; I thought I should see what all of the fuss was about so I started watching it.  I watched a few episodes but it was too depressing for me, especially with the cancer thing.  I won't be watching any more of it.  However it was a very good show.  It just made me too sad.

Haunter: on Netflix;  I loved this movie.  It was slightly like The Lovely Bones in that the main character is a girl who was murdered and is trying to save a living girl from the same horrible fate.  But that is where the similarities end.  It's a wonderfully creepy movie that keeps your brain engaged the whole time.

I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys creepy mind-bending movies that keep you guessing.

An Invisible Sign: on Netflix; I loved this one too.  It's about a young woman who becomes a teacher but she has some issues and she's slowly unraveling.  She thinks that numbers are the answer to all of her problems.  A little girl in her class has some problems of her own and the two form a bond.  This movie gave me a lot of feelings.  Sidenote: I love all of Mona Grey's outfits.

I would recommend this to people who are fascinated by mental illness.

Upside Down: on Netflix; a really unique sci-fi movie, at least as far as I've seen.  Two planets orbit next to each other, one above and one below and have equal but opposite gravitational pull.  The people above are rich and the people below are poor.  The movie focuses on what happens when a boy from the lower world meets a girl from the upper world and how it changes both worlds forever.  I thoroughly enjoyed this movie.  (I really loved it, actually, but I've already said that about just about everything.)

I would recommend it to everyone who enjoys beautiful sci-fi/fantasy landscapes and thought-provoking concepts.

Side Effects: on Netflix; So good!  It's about a wife who is very depressed and turns to a new medication with some very bad side effects.  There's a plot twist too.  I don't want to give anything away though.

I would recommend it to people who enjoy psychological thrillers.

The Eleventh Commandment: on Netflix; This movie is about a man escaping from a mental asylum and tracking down his uncle who put him there.  There is a serious plot twist in this one.

I would recommend it to everyone who likes very cheesy movies.  The plot is really good though.

Misbegotten:  on Netflix; This movie is about a women who gets pregnant through artificial insemination, but her joy is cut short when the psychopathic donor of the sperm tracks her down.

I would recommend this to people who like movies with psychopaths.

The Silence of the Lambs: I finally watched it and I don't know what took me so long!  I loved it.

Sightseers:  on Netflix; a dark comedy that I really enjoyed.  I don't want to give anything away but I can say that there are serial killers.

I would recommend it to anyone who liked God Bless America.

Playing:

Augmented Reality cards on my Nintendo 3DS, which G bought at a Black Friday sale and then realized he would never play it so he gave it to me.  The augmented reality cards are really cool.  You put them on a flat surface and then it looks like that surface is becoming a game.  You can have a dragon rise from your desk and then you have to battle it.  It's pretty cool.

Reading:

Soul Enchilada by David Macinnis Gill:  I bought it on Amazon because it sounded like it could be good.  It could be good with this plot, but I hate the main character!  I really can't stand her.  So it's been slow reading because she actually annoys me.  I will finish the book because I paid money for it and I'm no quitter, but it might take awhile.

Watching, Playing, Reading #4

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Watching:

Oddities and Oddities San Francisco: on Netflix; I watched all of both of these shows and I would love to see more!  It's sort of like Pawn Stars, but with taxidermy animals and infant coffins instead of laptops and watches.  There are so many interesting people and items on the show and you never know what's going to happen next.  Plus it's pretty educational, if you're into that sort of thing.

Red Dawn (the remake): on Netflix; It was a pretty good movie.  I've never seen the original but I intend to now.  It's about a bunch of high school kids trying to survive and fight back after the US is invaded.

Community: I have been waiting to watch this for a long time and now I finally am.  It is as hilarious and wonderful as I expected and I'm hooked!

Playing:

Candy Crush Saga: on Facebook; I started playing this recently and it's my guilty pleasure.  I was never going to start playing but then I did and I like it.  I only play about two levels a day so I'm not wasting all of my time on it or anything.

Reading:

still The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly;  I've just been reading it when I'm waiting for my bus so I'm taking awhile to finish it but it's such a good book that I don't want it to end!

Watching, Playing, Reading #3

Watching:

the gorgeous sunset above at Golden Gardens last night for my friend's birthday (It totally counts because this is my blog and I make the rules!)

Monsters University: from Redbox when I was recovering from being sick; I loved it and would watch it again.  You guys know how I love nice monsters.

Escape from Planet Earth: on Netflix; it's a cute movie about aliens trying to escape from Earth; very silly and perfect to watch when you're sick like I was, because there's not a complicated storyline for you to keep up with

Fangasm: on Hulu; I found out about this show because one of the bloggers I follow is on it!  It's about a house full of nerds interning for Stan Lee for his Comikaze.  Every episode makes me feel better about humanity.  And I refuse to believe it's from the producers of Jersey Shore.

Lawless: not my choice of movie but I watched this with my guy friend, N, and liked it more than I thought I would;  I had trouble taking Shia Lebeouf seriously as a bootlegger at first though.

Emily Owens, M.D.: on Netflix; I started watching this because I thought it was a comedy but then I realized it was a medical drama; I kept watching it because I liked the characters and then I stopped watching it when I found out my grandma was going to have heart surgery later in the week, because there are a lot of heart surgeries on this show that sometimes go wrong and I didn't want myself worry about my grandma's surgery any more than I already was.  She had a double bypass and it went perfectly and she is recovering nicely, which is a huge relief because nobody even knew she had anything wrong until Monday two weeks ago and she had surgery Friday of the same week.

Love Actually: on Netflix; I hated it and turned it off after 15 minutes and I'm not sorry

Love Birds: on Netflix; a romantic comedy set in New Zealand;  I loved it and it made me laugh out loud repeatedly;  It's about a man whose girlfriend leaves him and then he finds a wounded duck and becomes attached to it.  He starts to fall for the bird expert at the zoo after she helps him out with the duck.  Bonus points for no cliched airport scene.

Standing Up: on Netflix;  At first it seems like a children's movie but it is way more than that.  It reminded me of Moonrise Kingdom and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Fame High: on Netflix;  I loved this documentary which is about kids attending Los Angeles County High School for the Arts.  It's amazing to see how talented these kids are and what happens after they graduate.

After Earth: from Redbox;  I loved this one as well.  It has the perfect amount of danger to seem realistic (like way in the future realistic) with lots of suspense and emotion.

Playing: not much of anything lately; I played through Insert Title Here on Desura.  It was pretty experimental and involved a lot of insulting the player.  It was also a lot shorter than I thought it would be.

Reading: The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly; sometimes judging a book by its cover isn't so bad;  I chose this book because it has a great cover illustration;  it's an amazing story and beautifully written; it's about a young boy whose mother dies during the time of the Holocaust;  I can't tell if he actually lost touch with reality or if he really discovered an alternate reality but that's part of why I like this book so much.  It reminds me of Coraline, which I thoroughly enjoyed.  I'm not very far into the book yet but I am really loving it so far.

Watching, Playing, Reading #2

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 Watching:

Once Upon a Time (on Netflix):  I found out that season 2 is on there now and I've been marathoning it.  It's gotten strange this season, but as far as I can tell I like it.  Who else is super excited for the Alice in Wonderland spin-off series?!  It involves a mental asylum!  (I'm not sure if I've told you this but I love mental asylum settings and mental illness themes.)

Our Idiot Brother (on Netflix): This was a really great indie comedy movie with one of my favorite actresses (Zooey Deschanel).  G and I both thoroughly enjoyed it and I recommend it to people who like funny things.

State of Emergency (on Netflix):  This is the worst zombie movie I have ever seen and you better believe I have seen a lot of zombie movies.  The number of zombies can be counted on your fingers and there is never any actual danger.  Never watch this movie.  I am serious.  It's not even so bad it's good.  I love those kinds of zombie movies, but this one is just slow and boring and awful.

Playing:

new (used) video games! from Al's Music Video and Games in Seattle.  This is a cool place I haven't been into for awhile.  It's just a small store with walking spaces narrow enough that you can't go past people when you're going down the aisles, but it's worth it.  There are CDs, records, video games, consoles, movies, and even guitars for sale.  I bought Tak and the Power of Juju and Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, both for PS2.  When we were leaving the store, I spotted The Legend of Zelda board game in a display case!  But alas, it was not for sale.  Not that I could have afforded it if it had been, but still.  I am very pleased with both of my video game purchases.  They will give me hours and hours of enjoyment for less than $10 each.  Not bad at all.  Tak and the Power of Juju is completely silly and ridiculous, yet sometimes difficult.  I find it so hard to swing on the ropes!  Prince of Persia: Sands of Time is amazing and sometimes frustrating.  I just got the dagger and then unlocked the hourglass thing, so I can go back in time when I mess up my wall running and jumping stuff.  Plus the graphics are incredible!

Reading:

still Watchers by Dean Koontz:  It's still really good and getting better with every page.  Right now the suspense is building and foreshadowing is occurring., so I think something very exciting will happen soon.

lots of comics

lots of webcomics

as always blogs

What have you been watching, playing, and reading lately?  Anything good?

Watching, Playing, Reading #1

Welcome to my new post series.  It should be pretty self-explanatory.  I'll be sharing what I'm watching, playing, and reading lately, and what I think about those things.

Watching:

Monk (on Netflix): It's a show about an OCD detective and I love it.  It's funny sometimes and sad sometimes, but always good.

So many movies.  Some of my favorites are: Identity Thief (from Redbox; I love Melissa McCarthy in everything ever and this movie does not disappoint), Cabin in the Woods (on Netflix; It's a movie written by Joss Whedon and it is not your typical teens in a cabin get murdered story; I loved it to death (and there are zombies in it!)), House at the End of the Street (on Netflix; This movie seemed really predictable but I was actually completely wrong and it kept me guessing until the end.)

Playing:

Magic the Gathering (the card game)  I've been playing for almost a month now.  I played against a person at my happy place, the comic book shop which I'll be sharing in its own post at some point, for 2 hours.  A single game took two hours!  We were both playing with life gain decks and the way the game works is that whoever loses all 20 life first loses.  So it took FOREVER (to be read the way it is said in The Sandlot, and if you haven't seen that movie stop reading this and go watch it right this instant!) despite the fact that I was using a 20-card beginner deck and my opponent was using a full 60-card deck.  I think I would have won if they had actually used a 20 card deck, but I did hang in there for awhile.

Linger in Shadows: (downloaded from Playstation Store) This game is like nothing you've ever played before.  The game is essentially a 6-minute movie that keeps stopping and rewinding.  Gameplay is very interesting.  You have to move the controller in different ways to progress to the next part of the movie.  Sometimes you have to shake it from side to side.  Other times you have to turn the controller in circles.  It's a very interesting system of controls that would not work in a fast-paced game, but is pretty perfect here.  The first time I played through, I just finished the movie.  The second time I played through, I accidentally stumbled upon a secret and then found out that there are a whole bunch of secrets that give you trophies when you find them.  So the third time I played through I was all about finding the trophies.  I still missed three though.  This game is very replayable and well worth the, I believe, $2.99 that it cost.  Plus the movie itself is pretty cool.

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Free Realms: (Downloaded from Playstation Store) This game is an RPG.  The free version, which I have, will provide hours upon hours of entertainment.  The environments in this game are incredible.  There's a snowy environment with a North Pole feel to it, a beach environment, and even a fairy tale land environment, just to name a few.  You go around exploring places and completing quests.  You can earn coins to use to purchase stuff to either make your character better at their skills or just look really cool.  This game allows you to try lots of different jobs.  So far I have played as an adventurer, archer, a miner, a brawler, and a chef (I'm not very good at that one).  Some of the other jobs are postman, race car driver, sorcerer (that might not be what they call it) and fisherman.  It's a really fun game.  My favorite jobs so far are adventurer and brawler.  I like being an adventurer because it's basically just exploring the environments as much as possible and trying to find every single secret or hidden place that exists.  You find explorer coins which go in your collection.  You can also collect lots of other things, like wildflowers, insects, and seashells.

My Singing Monsters: I downloaded this app for free on G's phone because I don't have a smartphone but I love monsters.  You get to buy, breed and hatch different monsters.  The different monsters play different sounds that mingle together to sound pretty cool.  You can feed the monsters baked goods to level them up and put them next to their favorite things to make them produce coins faster.  It's a really fun game and I play it for a little bit every time I hang out with G.

Reading:

I just finished reading The Good Thief by Hannah Tinti.  I don't remember exactly where I got it, probably a thrift store or yard sale.  It was really good.  Hannah Tinti has been called the Robert Louis Stevenson of the modern age and she lives up to that title.  Her words paint vivid pictures of ghost towns filled with vagrants and wrongdoers.  This book focuses on an orphan boy and his adventures with a man who takes him from the orphanage, claiming to be his brother.  This man turns out to be quite a con artist and puts the boy, Ren, in all sorts of dangerous situations.  It's a really good book that I highly recommend.

Now I'm reading Watchers by Dean Koontz.  So far it's about a depressed man discovering an extremely intelligent dog and realizing that life is worth living after all and there are still wondrous things to discover.  There are also two side stories, which I'm sure will all converge later.  One involves a hit man being hired to kill doctors, and the other involves a woman who is basically a hermit because of her aunt teaching her that most of the people in the outside world are harmful and dangerous.  This book is very good so far and has made me laugh out loud at quite a few of the dog parts.

I'm also reading webcomics and real comic books which I'll share in two separate posts.

A Strange Fascination

I have this strange fascination with murderers, especially serial killers.  I'm not really sure how else to say it.  I think that there are a couple of different reasons why.  First of all, I just can't understand how anyone can be so cruel to another human being.  Second, while supposedly scary movies make me laugh my head off, movies with serial killers actually scare me, because they could actually happen, to some extent.  And for some reason, watching a lot of those types of movies makes me have fewer nightmares than I do when I don't watch them.  Maybe it gets it out of my system somehow?  Thrillers are my favorite kinds of books and one of my favorite kinds of movies.  I always used to watch The First 48 on Friday nights with my mom when I was growing up.  I've watched Bones, NCIS, Monk, CSI, and countless movies with the same theme.  And I love the new show The Following.

There's not really a point to this post.  I just felt like sharing.

Movie Review: Wreck-It Ralph

This is one of my new favorite movies.  I rented it from Redbox and I loved it.  A lot of people think that it's a movie for kids, but I actually think that adults will enjoy it more than kids will.  There are so many video game references that kids won't get.  One example of a reference that will go right over kids' heads is the Alcoholics Anonymous style group for video game bad guys.  There are lots of recognizable characters including Sonic the Hedgehog, Dr. Robotnik, Pacman and a Pacman ghost, and Bowser.  This is a movie about a bad guy from a video game who wants to win a medal instead of being thrown into mud at the end of every game.  So he goes on a quest to win a medal so the other characters in his game will love him as much as the game's hero, Fix-It Felix.  He ends up finding more than he bargained for, and finds out that there might be more to people than just whether they're good or bad.  The movie is mostly hilarious, partially heartwarming, and occasionally shocking (I'm talking about twists, nothing that will make you have to cover childrens' eyes).  I think that everyone should watch this movie, especially adults who like video games.  I give it a 5 out of 5.

Movie Reviews

I have watched a lot of movies since my last movie review post on here.  This isn't even all of them.

The Good:

Resident Evil: Retribution

Rented this one from Redbox.  I had been checking the Redbox website every single day waiting for it to be at my Redbox location.  It was finally there and I had to rent it immediately.  I loved it so much.  I don't think it's a secret that I'm a pretty big fan of Resident Evil movies.  They're some of my favorite zombie movies.  This one was no exception.  There were some new fighting techniques, lots of action, some backstory, and some heartwarming moments, plus a really cool car chase scene.  Although the one thing that I couldn't get past is that some of them were so skimpily dressed while others were bundled in parkas in the frozen Arctic.  I'm not sure how nobody froze to death.  Other than that, I loved this movie. 4.5 stars out of 5.

God Bless America

I watched this one on Netflix.  It was amazing!  Granted, it may not be the best movie to watch with all the shootings going on lately, but I thought that it was a really great commentary on the way news is reported and the assumptions people make about shooters.  The acting was really good, and the ending was realistic.  I can't really talk about the plot without accidentally giving things away, so I'll just leave it at that.  5 stars out of 5

Hugo

I watched this one on Netflix too.  From the first time I saw the trailer, I knew I wanted to watch this movie, and I was not disappointed.  The setting of the train station seems magical.  The way that people dress is sort of steampunk-ish and the entire movie is beautifully artistic.  The plot is truly unique (as far as I can tell. I definitely haven't seen every movie ever, but I haven't seen any movies like this before) and the cast is fantastic.  I really loved this movie and highly recommend it to everyone.  5 stars out of 5

Aaah! Zombies!!! (AKA Wasting Away)

I obviously love zombie movies.  I found this one on Hulu Plus and I loved it.  It's made to be like a cheesy B-movie.  The difference is that it's a zombie movie from the perspective of the zombies.  To the zombies, everyone else is just moving extra fast and the zombies themselves can get hurt without dying, so they think that they're superheroes and everyone else is zombies.  It's really unique and cheesy and funny.  I recommend it to everyone who likes zombie movies or B-movies.  4.5 stars out of 5

The Bad:

Book of Caleb

BOOOOORRRRIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGG!  I watched this movie on Netflix.  I managed to watch the whole movie but it was never anything other than boring.  I hated it.  Have I ever given a movie 0 stars before? I don't know, but this one gets it.  0 stars out of 5.  Lots of people love this movie, but not me.  If you're interested, IMDB summarizes it as "A comfortable underachiever and serial prankster, in the midst of their quarter life crisis, reunite against childhood enemies in a contemporary suburban epic."

The Meh:

Alice Through the Looking Glass

I found this one on Hulu Plus and I have to watch every single Alice in Wonderland movie ever, so I watched it.  It's mostly true to the book.  The costumes are amazing.  They were my favorite part of the movie.  This movie was pretty well done, but sort of boring.  I feel like there was more that they could have done, but didn't.  I give it 3 stars out of 5.

Princess Bride Band Names

You guys might remember that Princess Bride is one of my favorite movies ever.  You also might remember that when I have a fever my brain thinks strange things.  Well I woke up with a fever this morning and now I'm watching Princess Bride on TV.  There are certain phrases that I thought would make either really good or really bad band names, so I'm going to share them.

Good Band Names:
Shrieking Eels
Six-Fingered Man
Rodents of Unusual Size

So-So Band Names:
Unemployed in Greenland
Murdered by Pirates
Burned by Acid

Bad Band Names:
Get Used to Disappointment
Pit of Despair
Warthog-Faced Buffoon

Movie Review: American Zombie

In case you're tired of everyone's Christmas posts, here's a zombie movie review.  American Zombie is a mockumentary.  It is about two people who have teamed up to film a documentary about the living dead population residing in the Los Angeles area.  They have jobs and "lives" just like ordinary people.  One works at a grocery store.  The documentarians are surprised to learn that zombies don't have refrigerators full of dead bodies to eat, and that they don't even eat people.  They eat normal human food.  Then the two documentarians convince the zombies to let them tag along to an event in the desert, similar to Burning Man or Coachella.  This event is normally zombies-only and the documentarians are the first humans to ever attend.  At the event they learn a surprising secret that changes everything.

This movie was kind of funny at the beginning but by the end it was really depressing.  One of my favorite quotes from this movie is on the poster, "We're here. We're dead. Get used to it."  I would not recommend this movie at all.  At the beginning I was thinking it was going to be really good but then it turned into a completely different movie, one that I didn't like at all.  I had high hopes for this movie, but it fell short.  I can only give this movie 1 star out of 5.

Like a Kid in a Candy Store with Men in Black

I never went to a candy store as a child.  My brother got extremely hyper whenever he had sugar so my mother rarely let us have sugar.  Because I was an understanding child and it wouldn't be fair for me to get candy when my brother couldn't have it.  Pretty much the closest I ever came to a candy store as a kid was when we rarely went on one or two day "vacations" to the Oregon Coast and my parents bought a bunch of saltwater taffy.  It went in an empty ice cream bucket in the kitchen when we got back and we were allowed to eat a piece every so often if we were good.

All this backstory exists to prepare you for my sheer amazement at the variety of candy that exists.  Okay, so it wasn't actually a candy store, it was a buy in bulk candy section in a Top Foods grocery store.  But it was pretty overwhelming.  Candy everywhere, in every shape and color imaginable (just about, I have a pretty good imagination).   After we got home, G told me I should have taken a picture inside the store, after I told him I was going to blog about it.  But alas, I did not, so you will all just have to use your imaginations.  But if you have no imagination, then aside from feeling extremely sorry for you, I will say that we will definitely be going back at some point in life, and at that time I will take a picture.  We focused on the gummy section, since the chocolate section was sooo expensive (sad face).  I got a lot of candy.

Believe it or not, this is only my bag of candy, and I already ate a lot of it before taking this photo.

Between G and I, we got enough candy that it just fit in my purse when I took everything else out and left it in the car.  You see, this was not just some willy-nilly spur-of-the-moment insert-hyphenated-phrase-of-your-choice-here candy purchase.  This was candy to be snuck into the movie theater and surreptitiously consumed while watching Men in Black 3.  (Don't judge me, movie theater candy is waaaay expensive)  Luckily this theater doesn't check bags, because I don't think they would have fallen for, "Oh I forgot all that candy was in there, whoops."  We made it into the movie (we didn't see the 3D one because that costs sooooo much more and because it's hard to keep 3D glasses on over my normal glasses).  The theater was mostly empty, so we got to sit at the optimum viewing angle for not straining our necks.  This was actually the first time G and I have ever been to the movies together, because it is expensive and a lot of movies that have been made since we started dating have not been worth paying to watch.  But Men in Black 3 was deemed worthy of our money, and we had to see it. 

The movie was so good, and we ate a ton of candy.  There were no crying babies or annoying people talking through it.  I am definitely not going to try to choose a favorite Men in Black movie.  That is a Herculean task that I will never even attempt.  This one was very good.  We were not disappointed.  There was a great balance of humor, action, suspense, and backstory.  The CGI was flawless (to my untrained eye) and the variety of extraterrestial species was impressive.  This movie also answers some questions you might have been asking.  What is going on between Agent J and Agent K?  Will Agent K ever smile?  What would happen if they had to time travel to save the world?  There's also a character who has this weird Schrodinger's cat TO THE EXTREME thing going on.  And I loved the ending of the movie too.  So I am giving it the coveted rating of 5 stars out of a 5.  I think that it's a must-see for everyone.  And also, the jet packs look kind of like Daleks, which I thought was cool.

Movie Review: Phoebe in Wonderland

I've had this movie sitting in my Instant Queue on Netflix for a while now.  I've started this crazy thing where I'm actually watching the movies in my Instant Queue instead of just constantly adding more.  I know, I'm so insane.  But anyway, I chose this movie because I love the cover art and because it sounded Alice in Wonderland-related.

This movie is about a little girl who seems to act out all the time.  She mouths off in class and yells out at ballets.  She also seems to have very severe OCD.  She has to wash her hands a certain number of times, so much that it makes her skin raw and bloody.  She also has to touch all the square pavers in the yard in a certain order, and if she gets interrupted, she must start over.  She decides to sign up for the school play/musical, which is a production of Alice in Wonderland.  She lands the lead role, because she's the only one who tries out for it who can actually act (which is ironic, since all the kids in the movie are real-life actors).  The only place she doesn't act out is in her drama class and her drama teacher is a wonderful mentor for Phoebe.  Phoebe's mother is worried by what is going on with her daughter.  Her mother is writing her dissertation on Alice in Wonderland, and sometimes Phoebe says things like she's talking with the Red Queen.  When asked if that is her imaginary friend, she insists that she is real.  Many Alice in Wonderland characters talk with Phoebe and at first they seem very helpful.  The parts with the Alice in Wonderland characters are very well done and extremely artistic.  I don't want to give away the ending, because I really did love this movie and think that everyone should watch it, especially kids, so they aren't so quick to label someone as the "weirdo".

I give this movie 5 out of 5 stars.  The acting, mostly by children, was superb.  The storyline was interesting and the plot moved along nicely.  I also loved how artistic it all was.  I would definitely watch this movie again, and I would strongly recommend it to everyone.

Nerdy and I Know It

You may have gathered/I may have mentioned that I am a nerd. But I am not sure that I have ever posted a list of the reasons why I am a nerd. And I figure that this blog needs more bulleted lists. So here we go!

1. Every time I read "here we go" anywhere, I read it in the voice of Mario.

1. I am a word nerd.

• I love puns.
• I have loved to read books ever since I learned how when I was 3. Fun fact: I got a trophy in elementary school because I read over 1,000 books. It is the only personal trophy I've ever gotten.
• I love learning new words, and I am all about the vocabulary quiz on FreeRice.com.
• I love alliteration too.
• I also sort of collect fonts on my laptop, but only good ones that are also free (which are hard to find).
• People who insult people and use "your" where they should use "you're" make me laugh at them.
• I'm not a grammar Nazi, at least not outwardly. I keep all of my corrections to other people's grammar to myself.
• I also enjoy solving crossword puzzles, and doing fill-in puzzles (they're like crosswords mixed with logic puzzles).
• I read/devour webcomics. (This one will get its own post very soon.)

2. I am a logic nerd.

• I love logic problems.
• I also love Sudoku and its nerdier cousin Kakuro.
• I think that cryptography (coding and decoding) is fascinating.
• I have lots of different Rubik's cubes. I even know how to solve some of them.

Not pictured: I also have two ordinary Rubik's cubes, aka the 3x3. I know how to solve
the 3x3 as well as the weird segmented 2x2 in the upper right corner of this picture.

3. I am sort of a video game/computer game nerd.

• I don't play a whole lot of video games anymore, mainly because I feel bad about kicking G off his own TV so I can play video games, and I'm too poor to buy my own and still be able to pay my rent.
• I used to play lots of video games.
• My mom had a rule when my brother and I were young that we could only play video games for 20 minutes a day, and we had to set a timer.  We weren't allowed to own video games untl I was 10 and my brother was 12. At that time my mom reluctantly bought us an original Game Boy at a yard sale for $5. We had to share it and we amassed quite a few games for it. One of these was called Bugs Bunny's Crazy Castle.  It was one of those annoying games where you can't save it but when you beat a level, it gives you a password that you can enter to continue from the last level you beat instead of having to start over from the beginning.  The first time I broke the 20 minute rule, it was with the Bugs Bunny game.  My grandparents were watching us while my mom was visiting my uncle in the hospital after his motorcycle accident. I played Bugs Bunny for at least 2 hours straight, but probably more like 4 hours.  I saw Bugs Bunnys running around in my vision for at least two hours after I stopped playing. It was slightly worrisome.  After that my mom realized that you can't accomplish a whole lot on any video game within 20 minutes, so she upped our time limit to one hour a day, and two hours during the summer, but only one hour at a time twice a day.
• Over the years of living at home, my brother and I acquired one lime green Game Boy Color which we shared, a Game Boy Advance SP each, and a Nintendo DS each. My brother bought consoles after moving out but I didn't.  We also amassed quite an impressive collection of games.  My favorites were anything Zelda, anything Mario, and Golden Sun.  For those of you who don't know, Golden Sun is an incredibly epic RPG. I still have my Game Boy Advance SP, but I sold my Nintendo DS at the beginning of last summer to get rent money.
• I currently know how to play music from both Zelda and Mario on both my flute and my guitar.
• I want a Link hat and I want Mario character plushies, but I won't buy them because I don't have money for both them and rent.
• I drew a really cool picture of Link when I was 12. I'll have to find my old sketchbook next time I go home and scan the drawings for you.
• I used to play Runescape, when I was in middle school.
• I learned that MMORPGs are much too addictive for me to handle, so now I steer clear of them.
• I still love to play flash-based browser games, especially point and click games and escape the room games.

5. I am a sci fi nerd.

• This post is already pretty long, so I'll try to keep this one short. I like sci fi shows, books, and movies.
• Star Wars is my one true love. Sidenote: They make real life lightsabers now, and they've been advertised on my blog sometimes in my Project Wonderful ads. They're actually lasers and not intended for use as weapons. Also? I want a Chewbacca plushie. Also also? I am a Jedi.
• I need to watch the X Files and I need to finish the 7th season of Buffy.
• I'm not sure if supernatural shows count as sci fi, but I am counting it anyway. I love the series Supernatural and I love the series Reaper, which I discovered on Netflix and watched both seasons in 3 days.
• Doctor Who also has a special place in my heart.
• There is a third Men in Black movie and it involves time travel. I have not decided how I feel about this yet.
• I took a contemporary literature class in college that was all about sci fi movies and books. It was one of the coolest classes ever.
• I have and love a Back to the Future shirt.
• Zombies aren't sci fi in my opinion. (It could seriously really happen!) But I'll put that I love zombie-related stuff in this category anyway.
• Pottermore: I know that I need to read the books, but I definitely went through the first book on Pottermore in one evening. It's kind of like a point-and-click game combined with reading and I love it.

8. There's probably a ton more stuff that I'll think of later, but I think this is enough for now.

Movies Movies Movies

I review a lot of movies on here, but I don't think I've ever told you what my favorite movies are. So wonder no more. Here they are, in no particular order.  The pictures are linked to the descriptions on IMDB.

What kind of nerd would I be if I didn't like Harry Potter?!
I do have a confession to make though: I haven't read the books yet,
but I have this weird thing where I try to see movies of books before reading the books,
because the book is almost always better than the movie based on it.
My favorite Harry Potter character is Luna Lovegood.

This movie is so amazing. It's one of the ultimate sci fi films.
There's so much weirdness and action. I just love it to death.
That's all I have to say about this one.

I'm not sure if you know this, but I'm a Jedi. I was Jedi knighted by one of my awesome
cousins back when I couldn't walk. The Star Wars original trilogy will always have a special place
in my heart. My brother and I grew up watching the VHS tapes of it that we had taped off of TV.
We had to fast forward through the commercials and everything.
Also I may or may not be able to play the entire soundtrack on my flute.

The first one in the series is by far my favorite.
I love time travel stuff. (Doctor Who anyone?)
And obviously I am a huge fan of sci fi.
I even have a Back to the Future shirt, and I love it.

I love this movie so much! I can play the songs on my flute.
I have a Jack Skellington tee shirt and purse.
I've stopped carrying the purse because I am a grown up, but also because it sort of is falling apart.
And I got some supplies to make some Jack Skellington jewelry : )

One of the best movies ever, in my opinion.
It's so epic and funny and adventurous and amazing.
Sometimes guys get scared away by the title and think it's
a girly movie, but once they watch it, they love it too.

You probably won't find this surprising, but some of my favorite movies are ones with
really weird female main characters. I also like movies that are really weird and artsy.
This movie fits both of those categories really well.

This movie is so wonderful in every way.
It will always be one of my favorites.
I love Tim Burton movies, the artsy weirdness is just my thing,
with just a touch of darkness thrown in for good measure.

Another crazy wonderful sci fi film.
Are you sensing a pattern yet?

Miyazaki is a movie master.
I cut my teeth on My Neighbor Totoro (not literally, of course)
and Spirited Away is even more amazing, in my opinion.
Her parents get turned into pigs and she has to
traverse a crazy world of demons to rescue them from their fate.
And the animation is fantastic.

Wow, that actually turned out to be an even 10.  I didn't even plan it that way.  My lists never have an "ordinary" number of items on them. I just add items until I'm done.  So now you know what some of my favorite movies are.  Of course there are tons more, but this is a sampling for you.

What You Missed

Prepare yourselves, ladies and gentlemen and people who actually read my blog, for a very picture heavy post.  These are the things I did during the time I took off from blogging, while housesitting for G, without internet.

walked around without pants on, which I can't do at my place since I have roommates

learned a new hairstyle

took silly pictures in G's new full-length ginormous mirror

more silly pictures

more silly pictures

got my new super adorable $1 bunny earrings from eBay

took more silly pictures; you can see in this one how I have to duct tape
the battery door on my camera shut, but it doesn't always work

enjoyed some spring weather complete with blue skies

ate some yummy Lean Cusine and made lots of tasty smoothies

admired G's awesome dino mug

Not pictured: watched about a billion and one romantic comedies, ate lots of ice cream, was able to connect to an unsecured internet network for only about 5 minutes a day before it kicked me off and wouldn't allow me on until the next day, walked 24 blocks when it wasn't quite as warm outside as it appeared to be, got food poisoning from some Lean Cuisine and was miserable, didn't get to read blogs, finished two books.

And guess what else? G came back from his first ever trip to Vegas with $25 more than he left with!  He did pretty well at blackjack.  Oh, and my wrist is all better now : )

Dueling the Doldrums

I'm just feeling sort of meh today.  Both my football teams lost this weekend.  On Friday, I had the opportunity to make $12 an hour calling people and reminding them to vote.  I wouldn't do that again for a million dollars.  I did work that day for 10 hours, so I made a little bit of money.  But there's just something about knowing that nobody you call actually wants to talk to you along with being hung up on almost constantly that leaves a person feeling pretty exhausted by the end of the day.  Thankfully, there was free Dove chocolate, or I wouldn't have been able to stay for as long as I did.  Then the changing of the clocks has my sleep clock knocked off-kilter.  The combination of that with the dreary weather that's taken over is just making me feel unhappy.  But I did get my new coat and boots just in time for the cold weather.

But the doldrums will not be victorious! (Sidenote: doldrums is a fantastic word that I originally learned from an equally fantastic book, entitled The Phantom Tollbooth, which I read ages ago, when I was in 5th or 6th grade.)  G helped me to fight the doldrums this weekend with a Resident Evil marathon.  I had never seen any of them before and I sort of have a thing for zombie movies.  Then we watched X-Men Origins:Wolverine, which I had never seen before.  The X-Men movies are some of my favorite movies ever, and I found out that G has not seen 1, 2, or 3! I am going to try to find them cheap somewhere so we can watch them together.  Another weapon I used in my fight against the doldrums was peppermint ice cream.  I hadn't even seen it for at least 5 years, and I found it recently at Safeway.  G thinks it's disgusting, but that just means more for me :) I bought him mint moose tracks ice cream and it tastes super amazing, so he's a happy camper. I discovered Aah! Real Monsters on Netflix yesterday and watched a couple of episodes.  I used to love that show when I was about 6 years old, now not so much, but it was a kind of cool walk down memory lane.  Today I plan to continue my doldrums combat by taking a hot bath and watching some of the stuff on my Hulu queue.  I also want to list some of my stuff on eBay, but that might wait until tomorrow.  Also, I received my 100 free business cards in the mail today.  They look awesome and will hopefully inspire me to get going on my new website.  I'll let you know how that goes.

Spring Break: In Depth

Multnomah Falls

See the rainbow?

Blue skies

Mist on the mountains

Snow!

Bridge of the Gods, connects Oregon and Washington

So yesterday I didn't post because I was thoroughly exhausted.  But today, here is the story of my Spring Break.  It all started out well enough, but after a while in the car, I started having my head involuntarily shake back and forth and my leg jerk.  Later, I found out that these are known as spasmodic torticollis and ballismus, respectively.  It continued off and on for a while.  We went to Portland to visit my brother, and I thought that maybe if I got out and walked around, the shaking would stop.  How wrong I was.  As soon as I got out, I started having what I thought at the time was a seizure.  My parents caught me before I hit the pavement and then after it stopped, my dad carried me up the stairs into my brother's apartment.  Once there, I was okay for a little bit, but before too long, I kept on having these seizure things, and they kept on coming closer together.  I stopped being able to talk and then we went to the hospital.  They were super violent too.  My legs and arms would kick and punch things as hard as possible while my head thrashed wildly.  I still have bruises and scrapes from it.  My brother and my dad carried me down the stairs to the car, and I had one of the seizure things halfway down the stairs.  Once in the car, they began coming even closer together, with only a few seconds in between where I could catch my breath.  When we got to the hospital, they said that they weren't seizures, since I was conscious during them.  They didn't know what they were but they gave me some medication to take and then they stopped.  I still couldn't talk.  And then I went home and went to bed.  The next morning I woke up and had a seizure thing and took my medicine, still couldn't talk.  My mom put out a mattress for me to lay on on the floor and surrounded it with pillows so I wouldn't hurt myself if I had more seizure things, which I did.  I didn't have nearly as many that day as the day before and before long, the medicine started working and the seizure things quit.

I just chilled on the mattress and watched movies with my mom for the next few days.  We watched Three Men and a Baby and Three Men and a Little Lady, both of which I highly recommend if you want a good laugh.  We also watched this old movie called Ladyhawke and it had a super bizarre plot but I thoroughly enjoyed it.  I would recommend it as well, if you can find it anywhere.  The next day, I woke up able to talk and walk normally, and after that I didn't have any more seizure things.  On Saturday, we went to my brother's again to celebrate his birthday with him.  His friend J was there and we got along really well.  We watched Demitri Martin and he is truly hilarious.  The most memorable part of my conversation with J is when he said, "I like your orange socks.  None of my friends have orange socks.  I used to have pants that color."  I think that was an attempt at flirting.  Anyway, after we left, I got a text from my brother asking if he could give J my number.  I said sure, and then we texted back and forth all the way home.  Then I watched Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the old BBC version, and it was really great, but the ending was horrible.  It stuck to the books, pretty much exactly.  J and I are Facebook friends now, but when I texted him after getting back, he only sent one word responses.  I'm just giving him some space now.  It seemed like he was pretty into me, but now that I'm in Seattle, not so much.  I don't know.  Anyway, now I'm back and I've started my Spring Quarter classes.  The cherry trees are in bloom in the quad and they look amazing.  My classes are really great this quarter, and on both Tuesday and Thursday, I only have one class and it's over by noon, so that's pretty spectacular.

DIY

My friend was going to take me to do some errands today, but she mixed up today's work schedule with tomorrow's, so she's going to take me tomorrow.  I decided that I am going to do my own industrial piercing. Then it will only cost $10 for the jewelry.  I want to get something like this for it, except it's wavier and there's a loop.

I am going to have a marathon of Freddy Kruger on my mini laptop while working on a presentation for my finnish class on this one.

My latin word of the day is melior.  It means better.