I receive lots of spam emails saying that my email address won the British lottery or some random person died and the relatives want to give me the inheritance or whatever, but I think that this spam email takes the cake:
"From: Federal Bureau of Investigation
Dept: Anti-Terrorist & Monetary Crimes Division
Office: Washington, D.C. Headquarters
Address: J. Edgar Hoover Building 93 Pennsylvania Avenue,
NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001
WARNING! Our field agents will visit you for arrest if you fail to comply fully with the below instructions.
Sequel to the on-going international money transfers being carried out to sponsor terrorism, money laundering, and drugs; the FBI has been directed to take full responsibility in clamping down on such evil acts. Money transfers originating from any part of Africa, Europe, Middle East, and Asia countries as contract payments, fund inheritance or lottery winnings via unauthorized means from any financial institutions/security companies will not be allowed into USA until cleared. A deposit of Eight Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars ($8.5Million) was found under your name in Bank of America believed to be from Africa. This indicates that you are aware of this transfer. You will have to clear this by obtaining the necessary Fund Transfer Clearance Certificates. Thereafter, the funds will be released to you as clean money devoid of any illegality.
Following series of meeting held over the months which ended 2 days ago which has the secretary general to the United Nations, Central Bank of Nigeria, Bank of America and World Bank Officials in attendance; it was resolved that all funds beneficiaries MUST have the FTCC obtained. The Fund Transfer Clearance Certificate (FTCC) often referred to as a criminal history record or rap sheet, is a listing of certain information taken from fingerprint submissions retained by the FBI in connection with arrests and, in some instances, Federal employment, naturalization, or military service. This condition is valid until 3 days after which the funds shall be confiscated and legal action will be taken against you.
Funds will be released upon confirmation of the FTCC document. Final instruction given below:
1. Credit payment instruction: irrevocable credit guarantee.
2. Beneficiary has full power when validation is cleared.
3. Beneficiaries Bank will be allowed to receive the funds upon confirmation from the World Bank / United Nations.
5. Bearers must clear Bank protocol and validation request.
We have confirmed that the amount required for the Fund Transfer Clearance Certificate (FTCC) $750.00 only, and the fee should be paid directly to the Document Unit of the Anti Fraud Department of Nigeria through a CIA agent in charge named Mr. Larry Scott. Here is his direct email address:email@example.com Contact him now for directions on where appropriate to send the required fees. Once you have completed payment of $750USD, be advised to keep us posted to enable us follow up with the release of your payment immediately.
The United Nations Department of Justice Order 556-73 establishes rules and regulations for the subject of an FBI identification Record to obtain a copy of his or her own record for review. The FBI Criminal Justice Information Service (CJIS) Division processes these requests to check illegal activities. WARNING: Failure to provide the above requirement in the next 72 hours, legal action will be taken immediately by arresting and prosecuting you according to the established Law. The F.B.I will not stop at any length in tracking down and prosecuting anybody who indulges in this criminal act.
We presumed you are law abiding and would not scuffle with the authorities in and outside America.
Robert S. Mueller 111
So first of all, they're pretending to be the director of the FBI. They even included the address so it's obvious that this is legit. Because nobody could ever just type the FBI director's name (I'm just assuming, I didn't care to look up if that's actually the FBI director's name) and address of the FBI. Past that, they seem to be assuming that I fell for an email scam about either "contract payments, fund inheritance or lottery winnings". I am pretty good at spotting those as scams. Furthermore I don't have a Bank of America account. But the last sentence is what really does it for me: "We presumed you are law abiding and would not scuffle with the authorities in and outside America." They really said scuffle! I do love a good scuffle with authority. I'm pretty sure that the real FBI would use a more professional word, but what do I know? I'm just a naive, email-scam-falling-for, accidental-law-breaking civilian. I better get on this so I don't get arrested within the next 72 hours. Haha, just kidding. Nice touch though, trying to make me think I'll be arrested if I don't let you scam me. Good luck with that.