Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Jobs I Wish I Could Have

In the midst of applying for a ton of different jobs, some of which are kind of awesome (I seriously want to work at Marshall's!) and some that are not so great (7-11 cashier), I have found myself wishing for other jobs entirely.  Some of these jobs might not even exist, but I still want them anyway. So behold, a list of things that I wish someone would pay me to do!

1. Be a hacky sack extra: If you pay attention when watching any movie (or tv show) ever that has involved a college or high school, you will notice they all have one thing in common.  There will be people hacky sacking at some point in the movie (or tv show).  They are usually kind of terrible at it too.  I could be that hacky sack extra! And I'm also pretty good at keeping it up for a while. (Get your mind out of the gutter.)  Sure people might be a little distracted from the actual plot development when they notice that there's a female who's pretty awesome at hacky sacking (a very male dominated activity), in the background.  But I could mess up on purpose a few times so I'm not so distracting.  Fun fact: I was president of the hacky sack club at my university during my sophomore year.

You probably think this wasn't me becuase of the pink shoes. Well my art professor decided the shot needed more contrast,
so I borrowed my roommate's pink shoes.  Also skinny jeans are way better for hacky sacking than flared legs.

2. Read books and watch movies: This is something I do all the time anyway, so I wish that someone would pay me for it.  I would review them and everything, which I already do with lots of movies.

3. Give my opinion on every single thing ever: Give me a topic and I'll tell you what I think about it.  If I don't know what the topic actually is, I'll just make something up.  Why won't anyone pay me to do this?  I love talking about my opinion all day long: I love this show, this hot chocolate is awesome, oh no I think I have food poisoning, ginger ale is awesome.  It's a gift, really.

4. Eat ice cream: I am so serious right now. How do I get a job as a new ice cream flavor sampler, because sign me up right now!  I don't think it's any secret that I love my ice cream.  It's also a good source of calcium when I don't drink milk regularly, except on my Lucky Charms.  Just call me a health superhero.

5. Write the sayings on the insides of Sobe caps: This is clearly a job that someone does, and I have a feeling that the person who does this job does not speak English fluently.  I can generate random phrases with the best of them.  (Sidenote: I've had multiple Sobe caps that said "Get Out of There" on them; I don't like it when my beverage tries to frighten me)  So, Sobe cap saying generator person, I take your "fist pump" and raise you a "party rock"  Your move buddy.  Here's one more to think about "YOLO".  (Obviously I wouldn't use YOLO or party rock.  Those are merely sarcastic examples.)

Oh no, it seems that I have written another list with a normal number of items on it. Oh well, I'm going back to bed now.  Who has two thumbs and couldn't fall asleep until 5 in the morning? This girl.


  1. I love numbers 2 and 3!!! I kind of do #2 for a living! :p ;)

    xoxo -Shar

  2. What the hell is hacky sack? I have absolutely no idea what that means.

    1. I'm not sure if they have it in England, but it's like juggling a beanbag with your feet. It's really good exercise but can be quite frustrating when first learning. It's also called footbag.

  3. Writing the sayings on the inside of Sobe caps would be an AWESOME job.
    On a related note, I have always wanted to work at a fortune cookie factory. I think I would have a little TOO much fun coming up with fortunes. Hehe.


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