Wednesday, May 21, 2014
The Stress Monster
Or maybe the stress mountain. Because I like monsters. I like mountains too, but they don't make sense in this analogy. When I get stressed, which has been happening a lot lately, I deal with it by not dealing with it. And before I realize it there's a giant mountain of stress that has accumulated while I was pretending none of it existed. But it's hard to ignore a mountain when it falls on you. Because there was an earthquake or something, I don't know. Mountains don't go away when I ignore them and I know this from past experience. And yet I still try. Because not dealing with stress is maybe slightly less stressful than dealing with it.
Right now there is a giant stress mountain looming over me. There's my first art show, illness, lack of motivation, waiting for my new phone to arrive because it needs to be here before the show!, more social anxiety than you can shake a stick at (not that shaking a stick at it would help or that's what I would be doing), a trip to see my parents for almost a whole month (which will hopefully help to melt some of the stress instead of adding more; apparently the mountain is capable of melting, but it's not made of ice cream or I would just eat it), finding an apartment, finding a job, and deciding whether I will or will not be going back to school in the fall (I'm still waiting to hear back about financial aid and also to see if I stop having seizures again). So there's a giant stress mountain and instead of acknowledging it, I'm facing it. I'm not really sure what to do now but I think this is a good first step.