Wednesday, October 8, 2014

A Tough Post: Telling the Whole Story

The only reason I'm posting this is I hope it will help even one person to have the courage to do what I didn't.  In May of 2012 I quit a job because of sexual harassment.  And I shared most of the story, but not all of it.  The thing that I didn't share is that I didn't have the courage to tell him no or to say stop.  I was able to get up and walk to a different part of the room but I couldn't say anything.

And apparently it took me over two years to admit that.  I lied to my mom when I told her what happened to me, and I never lie.  I told her that I told him to stop, but I didn't.  I wanted to, but I couldn't.  Because as my boss, he was in a position of power and he knew it.  He knew how badly I needed a job and how long I had to search before he hired me (two years).  I was small and timid and did as I was told.  I didn't want to lose my only source of income over what (at first I convinced myself) was just me misinterpreting the situation.

I didn't say no or stop but I did do something very difficult and very important.  I told somebody what was happening.  I wasn't strong enough to get myself out of the situation, but with G's help I did.

I felt like I needed to write this post because this afternoon I stumbled upon Youtube videos about Sam Pepper and others.  Serious accusations have been made against them recently.  And regardless of whether or not these crimes actually happened (I am not saying whether I think they did or not), people in power do take advantage of people they have power over.  Whether it's a celebrity and a fan, a boss and an employee, or some other powerful person doesn't matter.  The truth is that it happens.  Just because someone is in a position of power over you doesn't mean they're better than you.  It can be really hard to say no.  Maybe you don't want to hurt their feelings or appear rude.  Maybe you don't want to end a relationship.  But you are worth it.  You deserve to be happy and you don't deserve to feel uncomfortable. Whether you believe it or not.  Because I may not know you, but I do know that you're amazing.  And you're fascinating.  And I want you to have a happy life.

I wish I had the courage to say no.  But I didn't.  I hope that you do.

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