Why I missed class today: A true story

This is my first blog ever! A little bit about myself: I go to college somewhere in the United States. I am a sophomore. I started classes on Wednesday of this week. I love to hacky sack, but this Summer, my legs went paralyzed for no apparent reason off and on for two months. I'll write a riveting post about that sometime.  Anyway, my legs have been working for a whole month now! I hacky sack every chance I get. I'm practicing this really cool thing that makes me feel like a ninja and once I get good at it, someone will film me, and I'll set it to some awesome music and post it on here. More random facts: I play guitar, flute, and keyboard, I know karate, I have horribly disturbing nightmares pretty much every night where my friends, my family and I are all being brutally murdered and I have been known to wake up screaming, I'm not really paranoid but I don't feel like everybody who might read this needs to know my real name and where I live, I have OCD, I love Avenged Sevenfold. I am going to be a graphic designer after I finish college. I was so entertained by what happened to me today that I decided to start a blog.

Here's the story:

This in an actual e-mail explaining to my professor that I missed class because I couldn't find it.

I am in your Physics 214 class and I missed yesterday's class because of a slight mix-up so I was determined to get to class (section? lab?) early today so that I could find out if I missed anything important yesterday. I would have been early too, if I could figure out how to get to the class. I entered PAB and noticed that all of the classroom numbers began with one, so I would have to go down a level to reach room B042. I found a staircase and went down it only to be met with a door with a sign which read, "Fire door to remain locked at all times" so naturally I opened the door which was not locked, because I figured that this must be how I get to class. To my disappointment, the door led outside and not to the lower level of the building. After that, I went back up the stairs. The bell had already rung but I was determined to attend class even if I was late. I went all the way to the other end of the building and found another staircase leading down. Unfortunately there was a gate across this stairway and a sign saying that the stairway was closed. I am not so easily defeated so I found an elevator, got in, and pushed the button that I assumed must go to the floor below, since I was on the first floor and the button below one was marked "M", which I have NO idea what that stands for. I pushed "M" and the elevator did NOTHING. Well, the button lit up, but the elevator did not move. I did not push the button marked "B" because I'm pretty sure that that one stands for "Basement" and I did not want to somehow get stuck in the basement after my ridiculous adventure. I kind of thought I might have gotten stuck in the elevator and that it had just decided that right after I got in it would be the perfect moment to break down. Luckily the door open button still worked, so I got out and left. I gave up on finding the class. So I have a few questions: Number one: Have I missed anything really important? If so, what? Can I somehow make it up? Number two: Do I have to take the elevator to get to the classroom? Number three: Is there some sort of secret entrance that only the students who made it lecture know about? Number Four: Does this classroom actually exist or is this just some sort of elaborate ruse to confuse me? Thanks for taking the time to read my absurdly long message. Please help me! The worst part is, I'm not even a freshman, I'm a sophomore.

-One seriously confused student

So, seriously, I have no idea what the letter "M" would stand for. I mean, I can think of some things that start with the letter m: marshmallows, mongooses (mongeese?), mountains, magicians, but I see no reason an elevator would have a button dedicated to any of those things. The only somewhat reasonable explanation I can come up with is that "M" stands for middle, and you push that button if you want the elevator to stop between floors. I said somewhat reasonable explanation, okay? So, that's it for now. I hope someone will actually read this at some point, and preferably find it humorous, please?

-J

Update: The M stands for Mezzanine