Happy Halloween!

I am going to a Halloween dance tonight, and my legs still don't work, but I'm going anyway because I'm cool like that. I'm going to be Alice in Wonderland. I'm really excited because I was never allowed to dress up or go trick-or-treating so this is my first Halloween where I'm actually doing something fun.  I didn't actually buy a costume though; I'm wearing stuff I already have. That's all I have to say. Bye.

Today

It is cold and dreary outside so I don't mind being stuck inside as much. I'm having Bible study in my room with my friends and we're going to watch Harry Potter, either the 4th one or the 6th. I'm going to read medieval ghost stories for my Medieval Mysteries class, and I'm going to enjoy them. I'm going to feel all alone later tonight when everyone starts going out for Halloween parties. I'm going to remind myself that I never actually do anything on Friday or Saturday nights even when my legs do work. I'll probably find a movie to watch and try not to bug H on Skype with the random things that I'm thinking. Eat some junk food and think about something I can use as a prop to make my Alice in Wonderland costume more recognizable, since it is composed of stuff I already had in my closet and I'm broke. Comment if you have any ideas on that. Potentially start reading another book or play my neglected Nintendo DS, because I'm a nerd like that.

In other news, my roommate and I get along really well. We are both annoyed by the annoying girls down the hall who scream for no reason and sing annoying Spongebob songs and always sound like they're either laughing or crying, but you can't really tell which. We are both disgusted by the fact that girls like to use Halloween as an excuse to wear the least clothing possible. She is dressing as a nerd for Halloween. We both like to watch The Office and don't like to have Awkward Nate watch it with us. We both wish we had a boyfriend who was around all the time and neither one of us does. In conclusion, my roommate is pretty cool and I try not to annoy her by having her go get me grocery bags of food all the time. I have my friends go downstairs and get me food sometimes when they come over, with my own money.

Hmmm, maybe I'll try to teach myself some more keyboard today. Maybe I'll try to learn to play Avenged Sevenfold songs on both my guitar and my keyboard. Maybe I'll fail miserably but who cares. Not me. That reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett

That's all folks.

My Agenda

I'm just going to write what I'm going to do today. Design T-shirts, read Forever Odd, watch The Office, Modern Family, Survivor, and The Middle, play my guitar, look at the beautiful weather and wish I could go outside and take pictures of the changing leaves against the blue sky with a few puffy clouds, watch the 4th Harry Potter movie with some friends. Those are my plans for today. That's it, go away.

An Open Letter to Hot Pockets, and more specifically, to Hot Pockets Packaging Designers

Okay Hot Pockets, I get it. With your cool little crisping sleeve, I can eat you on the go! Well, I understand your need to shout this at the top of your lungs, or rather write cute, some may say clever (but not me), sayings on your handy dandy crisping sleeve, but I have some problems I'd like to address.  First of all, it is possible to eat almost any food while on the go. A banana is an extremely portable food item, but it doesn't write on its peel, "Whoa, look how much cooler I am than all other foods because you can eat me on the go!" Banana doesn't feel the need to boast about its portability. Banana lets its awesomeness speak for itself. Fear not dear Hot Pocket, that is not the only issue I have with you. While we're on the topic of your insane need to scream about how wonderful you are, I would like to address the issue that you are not as wonderful as you claim. Sure I can take you on the go, but I have to let you sit for two minutes to cool off if I don't want to get a third degree burn on my hand while living my busy life.  That time doesn't even include the time it takes to cook you. If I want to eat two of you, because I'm just crazy like that and have this mad desire to actually not be starving five minutes after eating, I have to cook you for three whole minutes. Hot Pocket, as annoying as you are to try to eat while on the run, you are even more annoying in quantities exceeding one. Let me explain. When I'm on the go and getting things done, I am usually carrying things. The type of things I am carrying does not matter, so for the purposes of this discussion let's just assume that I need to carry a watermelon and a baby armadillo. Well guess what Hot Pocket, I need an entire hand to hold each one of you, so I can't carry my watermelon or my baby armadillo. Thanks to you, I cannot attend my Baby Armadillo Watermelon Enthusiasts Party. That's right, Hot Pocket, now I'm not even going anywhere. Thanks a lot! The last problem that I have with you is that at times my legs become paralyzed for no apparent reason. Since you're remarkably convenient when it comes to making breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks, I pretty much live on you during these times. Seriously, there are four boxes of you in my mini fridge even as you are reading this. You taste good and your broccoli chicken cheddar variety may even be moderately healthy. However, when I am not able to walk, it seems incredibly insensitive of you to say things like, "You can sit and eat when you're dead", and, "I have nothing against tables except that they're stuck inside all day". So Hot Pocket, while you think you're being cute and clever, you're making me feel helpless and pathetic. Thanks Hot Pocket. I really appreciate it.

-Jay

P.S. That's right Hot Pocket, you don't deserve a "Sincerely" or a "Best Regards" or even a simple "From". You don't even deserve that dash, but I gave it to you anyway, because I'm a nice person and that's the kind of thing that nice people do.

Seeing Stars

Warning: This blog post will be extremely short. If you were planning to procrastinate by reading my blog, you'll have to look elsewhere because this warning is longer than the post will be.

Now that I live in the city, I miss seeing stars at night. I hate light pollution.

Yep, that was the whole post.

Completely Unrelated Update that will Probably be Longer than the Original Post:
My friends came to visit me, and they informed me that the shoes I was wearing were not mine. At the event last night, they had to help me with my shoes because it's really difficult to take your own shoes off and put them on when your legs are paralyzed. I was wearing black Converse. I was not aware that the black Converse that they grabbed for me at the end of the night were not mine. They were the same size as mine and they actually belong to a guy. I have large feet. Anyway, after putting on those shoes, I did notice that they were much looser than mine and now that I think about it, they were actually laced differently. My brain somehow managed to not register that these were not my shoes. I noticed a little bit ago that the white part on the toe was getting pretty scuffed up. The really funny thing about this is that one of my shoes had been signed by Thousand Foot Krutch, a Christian metal band. There are three signatures in black on the toe and one in silver on each side of the shoe. I have no idea how I didn't realize that the shoes I was wearing today weren't mine. I guess it's just not a normal thing for me to go, 'Hmmm, I wonder if these are really my shoes', before putting them on. Daniel is getting his shoes back tonight and I should be getting mine back soon. It's okay, because I have other shoes, and it's not like I'm walking anywhere anyway, because in case you forgot, my legs are paralyzed.

Haha, that was a lot longer than the original post.

Glass Half Full

My legs are still not working, but it isn't going to help to feel bad about it. The one thing I can control in this situation is my attitude and I am choosing to have a good attitude. Two of my friends came to my room and had bible study with me and it was really encouraging. We're going to have pumpkin pie and ice cream and play Mafia (a card game) tonight. It should be fun and I'm looking forward to leaving my room. Here's a brief list of things I'm thankful for:

1. I live in the United States. I don't live in a third-world country where food and water are scarce.
2. I have awesome friends, and who cares if H put me in the friend zone? At least he is my friend. I will no longer be upset about that.
3. I have all of my mental abilities fully working, even if my physical abilities aren't.
4. I can curl up in a blanket on my bed instead of having to sit in a chair and listen to a monotonous professor.
5. I have extra time to study for my mid-terms this week. Some people skip class to study, but I don't have to. I'm skipping class because my legs aren't working but I have tons of extra time to study now.
6. I also have extra time for entertainment. I finished the book I was reading. I also watched the first Harry Potter movie.
7. I've never been abused or neglected.
8. I have the opportunity to further my education.
9. There are so many people who care about me. I have a fantastic support network.
10. Even when I feel all alone, God is with me. He helps me make it through, and I'll be stronger because of it.

That's just a few of the many things I'm thankful for at the moment. Sometimes I need a change in perspective and I need to focus on the good things instead of the bad.

Listening to this song always puts me in a good mood.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73aMawhB0TE

Have a great day, everyone. I know I will.
      

I'm Not A Fan of Doctors

Guess who's sick again! If you guessed me, you are correct. Also, I need to do my laundry soon and I have no idea how that's going to happen with the whole leg paralysis thing. H is really concerned about me, and it's kind of nice, except for the fact that he just thinks of me as a good friend. He thinks I need to see a doctor or a specialist or something and not take risks, but my past experience with doctors has consisted of getting jabbed with needles and told either they don't know what's wrong with me or that it's all in my head. So I am convinced that doctors can't help me and neither can anyone else. I just need to get through this on my own. I may just be being stubborn, but I really don't know how anyone could do anything to help.
~Fine~ (that means end in French or something. It's a music term)

Blustery Weather

I guess that the weather finally got the memo that this is October, and therefore it should be fall. This morning, I got up and went to church with my friends. My legs were working before church but I sat for a long period of time, so now they're not working again. After church, I had sushi for the first time and it was really good! Except the octopus, that was weird and slimey. And I even kind of figured out how to use chopsticks, which I have been a complete and utter failure at up to this point. I swear that the leaves changed colors overnight! I could be wrong about this because I haven't been outside since Friday, but to me it seems like it was overnight. Also, it's cold! One of my friends was wearing two coats and she was still cold! I usually jump up and down when I'm cold to warm myself up, but the whole jumping thing isn't really going to be possible because of the whole paralysis thing. Anyway, it was really cold and rainy and windy. I like the way the wind stirs the leaves up. It's very blustery, which is a fantastic word. So, in case you didn't notice fall fell, or fall has fallen; either way sounds kind of weird, but oh well.

Unhappy Camper

I woke up this morning and my legs were working. I managed to take a shower before they quit working again. So now I'm confined to my room once more. I'm not in the best mood. At least my roommate bought me some food so I won't starve. That was nice. My bed is pretty high up and I usually have to jump to get in it, but now I can't jump. I have figured out a way to get in using my crutches, but it's really difficult and having that much trouble just getting into bed makes me feel really pathetic. Anyway, I'm struggling but I'll get through it. I'm trying to get H to come hang out and keep me company. He was busy yesterday but I'll try again today. And I don't get to go to Halo Laser Tag today! I was really looking forward to to it too :(

Update: I told H that I like him, and he said that he thinks of me as a good friend. Luckily, it wasn't actually to his face though, so he couldn't see my disappointment. That was actually the first time I've had the courage to tell a guy I liked him, when he hadn't told me first (which has only ever happened once). I only told him because I kind of had the impression that he liked me too. He talked about random stuff for hours with me and acted jealous of the other guys in the hacky sack club. He even offered me a ride home on break, which is a 4+ hour drive. So anyway, I'm pretty bummed.

Paralysis

So I think that I mentioned that sometimes my legs become paralyzed for no apparent reason. The doctors are baffled. Well, my legs had been fine for a little over a month now, but today they are paralyzed again. It happened while I was in class and my friends came to help, but they're pretty small and couldn't help much. They called one of their friends to come help. I had to have this random guy carry me out to the street so I could get in their friend's car. He was really cool about it. So anyway, no laser tag for me :( I'm confined to my room until further notice. I have mid-terms next week, so I had better be better by then. Otherwise, I'll have to hobble to class on crutches, and there are a lot of stairs on campus. I'm pretty disappointed but still trying to remain optimistic. That's all for now.

Friends

I have some really great friends. I just met them about a month ago, but I feel like I've known them for my entire life. I'm a Christian and they're part of the campus ministry, so the first time I met them they invited me to play Ultimate Frisbee with them. You weren't expecting that, were you? After playing Ultimate Frisbee, they invited me to come to their bible study, and at bible study they invited me to church. There are about 20 of them total, and they are some of the nicest people I've ever met. They ask me how I'm doing and I don't feel like I just have to say "Good" or "Fine" because they aren't just asking out of habit, they actually care how I'm doing. I can tell them if there's stuff that's bothering me and I know that they'll pray with me and help me through it, and not spread it around. In case you didn't know it, Christians aren't boring. We love to have fun. We hang out and watch movies and go out to dinner and play Ultimate Frisbee. We also went to a corn maze and had a mud fight. On Saturday, we're going to play Halo Laser Tag, which is like normal laser tag, but with Halo sound effects. I'm so excited. I've never played laser tag before, but it seems like lots of fun. Hopefully I don't die as often as I do in Halo, which is a lot; I die about every 5 seconds sometimes. Next week we're carving pumpkins, which I've also never done, but I'm looking forward to it, because if I haven't told you, I'm an art person. I'm going to be a graphic designer and I love doing creative stuff like taking pictures, making jewelry, designing T-shirts, doodling, playing music, etc. so like I said, it should be fun. I'll post pictures, probably, not making any promises. I know Thanksgiving is still over a month away, but I'm thankful for my awesome friends. It's not just something I say at Thanksgiving dinner when it's my turn to share. If you have awesome friends, let them know how much you appreciate them.

Awkward Nate

There is a guy on my floor who my roommate and I refer to as Awkward Nate. We call him that because he's awkward and his name is Nate. We're creative like that. The first encounter with Nate was when my roommate and I were watching The Office. This random guy walked through the open door and I didn't turn around because out of the corner of my eye, it appeared to be my roommate's friend Tyler. They're both tall so you can see how I would make this mistake. My roommate did turn around and didn't recognize him, but assumed that I must know him, because otherwise why would he just walk into our room like that? Being polite, my roommate introduced herself. She realized I didn't know Nate after I introduced myself. He said that he heard The Office and he loves that show and we said something about it being really funny but Hulu is taking forever to buffer. Then he left. My roommate and I began discussing how awkward that was, but at least he was gone. About five minutes later, he came back. My roommate and I exchanged annoyed glances. He sat on the floor and ate his pizza while watching The Office. He didn't even say anything at all. After he finished his pizza, he picked up my Rubik's Cube and started to mix it up without asking. It sounded like he knew what he was doing but after about three minutes, he stated that he forgot how to solve it and left, with my Rubik's Cube sitting there unsolved on my desk. I have OCD and I cannot stand to see an unsolved Rubik's Cube. I have to pick it up and solve it before I can even remotely concentrate on anything.  So I set down my ice cream, which had already started melting and solved my Rubik's Cube. About five minutes later, the episode ended and Nate came back. We informed him that the episode was over and he asked if we were going to watch another one. We explained that there weren't any more. That was the last one they've made so far. He asked if there were any other shows we liked to watch and we both came up with the excuse that we had to do homework. He started talking about some movie that he was going to watch and asked us if we've ever heard of it. We hadn't so he explained it to us. It sounded so completely ridiculously nerdy. Don't get me wrong, I am a huge nerd. I took a class on Science Fiction literature last year and I loved it. This sounded like the most generic science fiction movie ever made. What I got from the explanation was something about spaceships and aliens and basically no plot. We explained that we really needed to do homework and then after he left we shut the door.

We decided that we would keep the door shut to prevent Awkward Nate from popping in unannounced. Unfortunately, this plan didn't work out very well since our room becomes like a sauna during the day. It must be about 90 degrees most days, so we have to have the door open for a cross-breeze to make the temperature remotely bearable.  The other day, Harley and I were sitting on the bed watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail with the door open because of the ridiculous heat I just discussed. The movie had just ended and I exited to my desktop when Nate came in and said, "Oh sorry, I didn't realize...", looked awkwadly at us, mumbled something about seeing a cool picture, and then left. Harley asked me if I even knew that guy and then I told him all about him. He said that he's pretty creepy and I said that I definitely agree.

The final time Nate visited, I had just updated my blog and I was checking my E-mail. He stood in the doorway and stared at me for a little bit and I said "Hi?" in an attempt to diffuse the awkwardness of the situation. He misinterpreted this as an invitation to come in. He walked over to my desk and stared at my computer screen and asked what I was doing, to which I replied that I was checking my E-mail. He left. I closed the door and went on Facebook, and was extremely grateful that I hadn't been doing something interesting, because he probably would have stayed, and watched.

Fortunately, I haven't had any Awkward Nate visits for a few days. I got to hacky sack with H today and I attempted to invite him to go to laser tag with some of my friends and I on Saturday. I can get kind of tongue-tied when I talk to him sometimes. He said he'd never done laser tag before and I said that neither have I but it sounds like fun. He asked where it's at, and I said that I don't know and then another guy came up and started hacky sacking with us.

President Obama is coming to my school tomorrow! I don't get to see him, because I already missed one lab for my class because of my illness and I can only drop one lab, so I have to do all of the other ones. This is like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! One of my friends is going to tape his speech so I can see it, but that hardly compares with actually seeing the President. I'm not the biggest fan of him, but still, it's the President. Oh, it's at 12:00 so I could go, that is, if there weren't already over 3,000 people going and it being first come first served starting at 9:00.

Laundry Day Can Be Difficult if Technology Hates You

Guess what today is? It's Laundry Day! In celebration of Laundry Day, I got in the elevator to go to the Ground Floor to wash my clothes. Some people got off on the first floor and then the door closed, so I assumed that the elevator would fulfill it's duty and take me down one more level. I was wrong. I did not account for the fact that I must have done something that made the elevator mad at me without knowing it. It closed it's doors and just sat there, with a smug expression on its face, I'm sure. After about a minute of the elevator just sitting there, and these are really fast elevators so I could have gone up to the 11th floor and back twice in that time, I realized that the elevator hadn't understood my request when I pushed the button for the ground floor, even though the button was lit up, so I pushed the button about five more times. The elevator sat there. Then, it's doors opened and I said to the people who got in while I was angrily jabbing the button that for some reason the elevator wouldn't go down. The elevator shut its doors and proceeded to the ground floor. I'm pretty sure I heard it laugh. I managed to put the laundry in the washers and get it washing with no trouble, and I took the elevator upstairs without incident. It was a different elevator than I had taken down. I think it was the good twin.  I got up to my room, dropped my keys three times, then unlocked the door and walked in to the ridiculous hotness. I swear it's 90 degrees in here. I even have my door open for a cross-breeze despite the risk of Awkward Nate who I'll introduce in tomorrow's post.

Update: I think that the elevator has been talking to the washing machine because according to Laundryview (this awesome website my school has that notifies you when your laundry is done), my laundry was done but when I got downstairs, it hadn't even started washing.

Update 2: I had to reselect the cycle a second time but when I last went downstairs, my laundry was actually done. I cannot say with any confidence that the washer actually washed my laundry. I had to wring lots of water out of some of it, and some of it was still completely dry. I put it in the dryer anyway. I'm definitely not running it through the washer again.

Apples

Apples are altogether fantastic. They're crisp and juicy and delicious. The only downside is that you have to type with only one hand while eating them, like I am right now. Remember that game you used to play as a little kid where you say the alphabet while you twist the apple stem, and then when the stem breaks, that's supposed to be the first letter of the person's name who you are going to marry. Well I still play that game. I just got a B. Yesterday I got a C. This makes me think that the person I will marry has B 1/2 as the first letter of their name. Wouldn't it be weird if letters had fractions? It would be so much harder to learn how to read, and the alphabet song would be way longer. Just a random thing that my brain thought and then I shot it out of my fingertips like lightning. I say that about lightning because lately in my dreams, I have had the ability to shoot lightning out of my fingertips. Last night it was purple and the night before it was green. Last night, in my dream, I was flying and someone fired a bunch of missiles at me. Luckily, I blew them all up with my awesome lightning before they could blow me up. Speaking of apples, have you ever played Apples to Apples? It's such a fun game. I am going to play it later with some friends while drinking hot chocolate. That's all folks!

Early Morning Post

I woke up this morning and looked out my window. The world was shrouded in a fog of mystery with the sun straining to shine through in that orange sunrise way.  It was one of the most beautiful things and I attempted to capture it on camera, but it looked way cooler in real life. Here are the pictures anyway.

Now the fog has burnt off and the once-hidden world has been revealed. Have a great day, everyone.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

It's such a good movie, and guess who came over and watched it with me! H. It was fun. We laughed a ton. That movie is so hilarious. There wasn't any hand-holding and I'm not really sure if he saw it as a date or just as hanging out with a friend. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens.

This morning, I woke up and realized that I had set my alarm to PM instead of AM. Then I went to an awesome bakery with some friends. The apple turnover was delicious, the chai, not so much. It pretty much tasted like heated milk. Then we went to Pike's Place Market and walked around and had free samples. I sampled tayberry jelly, which is a cross between a raspberry and a blackberry. I also sampled raspberry honey almonds and a honey crisp apple. Then, I went shopping with my friend and got a really awesome coat at Goodwill for under $10. Then H came over and we watched a movie. Now I'm going to catch up on Survivor, and later is Capture the Flag. I haven't done Capture the Flag since I got back to school, so I'm really looking forward to it. We use glowsticks as flags and it's pretty much like a military operation. We strategize and have certain areas we cover while others scout for the enemy flags. It's lots of fun. Last year, I got my foot stomped on while playing Capture the Flag and my toe may or may not have been broken, but the toenail is still messed up. It fell off and then came back but it was kind of a dark purple color. Lovely image, isn't it?
That's all for now, Survivor is calling.

H

There's this guy that I hacky sack with named H and he seems pretty cool and we share a lot of the same interests. He lives pretty close to where I do when we're not at college, in an equally small town to the one I live in. Today, he offered me a ride home with him whenever I want to go home for break, since my town's right on the way and then my parents won't have to come get me. It's a 4 hour drive when the traffic is good. Then, after we got done hacky sacking, we talked for a while. I used the completely true excuse that I didn't want to go back to my dorm room because it's like 90 degrees there. That is completely true but I actually just wanted an excuse to talk to him. There was lots of laughter involved for both of us and we both came up with some pretty random stuff to talk about just so we could keep talking. I kind of like him and I think that he likes me too, but maybe he's just a really nice guy. Anyway, I'm going to ask him if he wants to hang out sometime and watch either Coraline or Beetlejuice, because he also likes Tim Burton. I'll keep you guys posted on what happens, if anything.

Mad Libs

Who doesn't love Mad Libs? The correct answer is nobody. Nobody does not love Mad Libs. Another way of saying that is everyone loves Mad Libs. So I present to you a rather entertaining time-waster, Online Mad Libs! If you're too lazy or lack the creativity to come up with your own words, you can just click the "totally random" button and the website will fill the whole thing in for you!
Here's an example of one that I did:

Picture yourself in a sand castle on a river,
With ice cream trees and smoked salmon skies
Somebody calls you, you snore quite softly,
A girl with level eyes.

Cellophane differences of purple and green,
enunciate over your head.
catapult for the girl with the dragon in her eyes,
And she`s gone.

Lauren in the sky with pianos...
Lauren in the sky with pianos...
Lauren in the sky with pianos...

Follow her down to a nose by a fountain
Where rocking horse laptops eat millennia pies,
Everyone laughs as you frolic past the flowers,
That shriek so incredibly high.

Newspaper pencils appear on the shore,
Waiting to take you away.
Climb in the back with your belly button in the clouds,
And you`re gone.

Picture yourself on a train in a bathroom,
With frail porters with looking glass shirts,
Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile,
The girl with level eyes.

Lauren in the sky with pianos...
Lauren in the sky with pianos...
Lauren in the sky with pianos...

That's right Mad Libs, Lauren is so awesome she plays multiple pianos, in the sky!
Click the link, you know you want to. Procrastination Awaits

Eclectic Insanity

The corn maze was awesome! We misread their hours, but they were nice enough to let us in anyway. It was in two parts and there was a big firepit after the first part. Too bad nobody brought marshmallows. It was very dark which totally helped add to the creepiness factor. The guys in our group hiding and then jumping out screaming to scare us girls did not add to the creepiness factor. Lots of the girls screamed but not me. If I had been legitimately scared by any of them, they would have gotten their nose broken. I don't scream; I punch.  I came up with some pretty cool corn maze pranks, well actually only two, but they are awesome. I said that I'd post corn maze pictures but it was very dark, so I didn't take any pictures. At the end of the corn maze, there was a giant mud puddle and one of the girls got thrown in it, and then a mudfight happened. I would have probably joined in if I hadn't just gotten over my illness (read as still had a fever last night but my voice works now, even though I'm probably technically still sick). Oh yeah, corn maze pranks, I almost forgot. The first one is to have two people dress up as corn stalks and stand blocking a portion of the path so it looks like a dead end, but it's actually a section of path you need to go through. This would have been pretty effective because it was night, as long as the costumed people could suppress their giggles. The second prank is to only make an entrance to the maze but no exit. If there are maps with pictures of the maze, edit the pictures so it looks like there's an exit. Then enjoy yourself as everyone is so determined not to give up and just go back out the entrance. In other news, I discovered chocolate covered cookie dough last night! It is amazing!!! The only way to possibly improve it would be to have ice cream under the chocolate with the cookie dough. And the sunset last night was spectacular! It looked like rainbow sherbert.
Guess what I did today! Do you give up? I got a new hacky sack! I finished getting stuff for my Alice in Wonderland costume! I found a surprise when I came back from class! It's an award! On my door! They spelled my name wrong! But I fixed it!  By drawing a paw print! Here's a picture!

 Here's a special Halloween treat. Sorry, it isn't candy, but it is a list of the names of undead creatures, with pictures. Never incorrectly refer to everything undead as a "zombie" again! Add these to your vocabulary and impress all your friends!

According to Wikipedia, there are two types of undead things. They are living corpses and spirits.
Some different types of living corpses are: draugr, jiang shi, ghoul, mummy, skeleton, wight, zombie, revenant, vampire, and lich.
Some different types of spirits are: ghosts, spectre, and wraith.

I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fourth follower! Tbr! I managed to go to classes today! Yay, I'm finally getting better! I'm going to take a very long nap after I finish this post and my lunch. In related news, barbecue pork ribs taste like happiness in my mouth. Guess who has never done anything for Halloween in her entire life? If you guessed me, give yourself a pat on the back, because you're right! I've never dressed in a costume, went trick-or-treating, went to a corn maze or a haunted house or a Halloween party. Last year, I almost experienced my first haunted house, but there was a two hour wait and we didn't get in. But tonight I'm going to my first corn maze! I'm so excited and the best part is I'm un-sick enough that I'll actually be able to enjoy it! Last night before I went to bed, I told myself that no matter how I feel today, I'm going to my classes, because I do not want to miss this corn maze and somehow going to my classes will prove to myself that I am well enough. I woke up this morning, and I actually felt a lot better! I'm so excited for this corn maze! Note the excessive amount of exclamation points in this post if you don't believe me. I'm going to take pictures and post them here tomorrow along with a Halloween-themed post on a secret topic. I'm also going to my first Halloween party this year! I'm going to be Alice from Alice in Wonderland. I'm so excited!!!!!!!

A Chaotic Jaunt Down Memory Lane

I have a third follower! Welcome, LaceyRee.

When I was about three years old, I tried to eat a handful of gravel.  I had had rock candy for the first time the day before, and in my mind all rocks were candy, so I tried to eat some. To my disappointment, it wasn't candy. I managed to scoop up quite a bit of dirt with the gravel and I was trying my best to crunch up the gravel but it hurt my teeth. That's when my brother, who is two years older than me, looked out the window and said, "Mom! J is eating rocks!" My mom ordered me to spit them out, and then I started crying, because my mouth was full of dirt and my teeth hurt and there wasn't any rock candy. I learned my lesson though. Only parents know which rocks are secretly candy.

A couple of years later my brother and I were playing outside and we decided to pretend we were cows. We got down on all fours and made mooing noises and ate grass. My mom asked us why were eating grass and we responded that we were pretending to be cows. Then my mom told us that there were little bugs on the grass that we were eating and we couldn't see them because they were too small. That cured us of eating grass. It actually didn't taste bad, much better than dirt and gravel.

A few years later, I was in second or third grade, and some of the kids in my class and I decided to have what we called "Gross Eating Contests." I was the only girl, and I always won. The object was to eat either the grossest thing on our lunch tray or the strangest combination of foods. To start with, I could win by just eating the nasty green beans that were cooked to death. After a while, the boys got braver and ate their green beans too, so I started eating my baby carrots with ketchup. I actually thought that tasted really good back then, but now I can't stand ketchup. The day that I was declared the Gross Food Eating Champion of All Time, I ate my entire orange peel. That was actually really disgusting and there was no way the boys could compete with that. We quit having the contests after that, partially because it took up too much of our recess when we actually ate all of the food on our tray.

I have always gotten along way better with guys than I do with girls. We just share more of the same interests: sports, climbing trees, arm wrestling, video games. I still like all that stuff. Anyway, most of my friends in school were and still are guys. I actually have about 10 female friends right now, and that's kind of weird for me. I have about thirty male friends. Anyway, in fourth or fifth grade, the guys started having suspicions about if I was actually a girl. This was based on the fact that they had never seen me cry. I always just laughed whenever I got hurt, and I still do actually. So they decided that if they could make me cry, they would believe that I was a girl. I was, and still am, very competitive. I'm really tough and I wasn't about to let them make me cry, no matter what. And believe me, most guys would have been crying. At one point, they almost broke my thumb. I actually believed that they were going to break my thumb, since they practically pulled it back until it touched my wrist. It hurt really bad, but I didn't cry.  A different time, we were wrestling outside on the pavement and one of them slammed me flat on my back on the pavement and knocked the wind out of me. He felt really bad and it hurt but I didn't cry. I guess they just quit trying at some point and started believing me that I was just a really tough girl. Of course, none of the teachers ever saw any of this stuff happening. I was really little in elementary school, leading to nicknames such as Small Fry and Little J. I was also really strong. When I was in third or fourth grade, I started doing 10 push-ups every day. I got behind for a little while, but I kept track and I made them all up. One night, I did 200 something push-ups. My mom was a little worried, I think. She told me that I didn't have to do them all at once, and I could spread them out over a few days, or a week or something. She didn't want to discourage me from exercising, but I was about 10 years old. I didn't mind, I did my 200+ push-ups in one night. It took me about two hours. I still love exercising. Now I hacky sack for about 4 hours a day, at least when I'm not sick.

I don't think I've ever cried from pain. Like I mentioned earlier, I always just laugh. The more pain I'm in, the more I laugh. I punched a brick wall once while hacky sacking, don't ask how, I'm not sure. My knuckles were bleeding and I laughed so hard, then kept hacky sacking. I tried to ollie once on my friend's skateboard while I was wearing flip flops. This was stupid for two reasons. First, I had given up learning to skateboard about five years earlier because I couldn't even learn the most basic trick, an ollie. Second, when ollying, you should wear shoes that have some grip on them, because you slide your foot up on the skateboard and turn it sideways to get in the air (or something). My friend was determined he could teach me to olly, and I was wearing flip flops because we were going white water rafting and killing time before that started. I did everything exactly the way I was supposed to, and I probably would have successfully ollied, if I had been wearing shoes. I slid my foot up and sideways, and my flip flop slipped when I turned my foot sideways and my toes scraped against the grip tape. For those of you who don't know, grip tape is kind of like super coarse sandpaper. It's the stuff on the top of a skateboard. So I basically sanded my toes. They were sliced open and I was dripping blood everywhere, but I was laughing so hard. I managed to get a bandaid and then I wrapped the wound with duct tape after having it bandaged, because that way the water wouldn't soak in. Then I went white water rafting, and it was a blast. My best friend broke her foot though, so she didn't have quite as much fun.

This has been a chaotic jaunt down memory lane, brought to you by the letter J. Thank you for flying with me, and please put your seats in the upright position. Single file line, please.

Things that make me happy :)

I have two followers now! Yay, thanks for following me Lauren!

This list is not in order of how happy these things make me, they all make me really super happy in some way or another.

1. Rain
I love the sound of rain. Sometimes I like to go out when it's raining and just get completely soaked then come back in and change into comfy dry clothes and drink hot cocoa. I never use an umbrella, ever, but I do like pictures of people with umbrellas.

2. Lightning
It's so incredibly powerful and yet beautiful. I love to photograph lightning. My mom's afraid I'm going to get struck by lightning but I stay away from tall things like trees and I stay low to the ground, so far so good. I did take this picture.

3. Holding hands
I like holding hands more than kissing. I just feel such a sense of security and togetherness. It's completely impossible for me to be unhappy while holding hands.

4. Sunset
I love watching the sunset and taking pictures of sunsets. It's so unique every night and it's really cool because in some other part of the country, the sunset could look completely different, and this one is exclusive to you and the other people where you are. I feel calm and peaceful when I watch the sunset. It's a wonderful stress-melter. I took this picture, among many others. It was so hard to choose!

5. Tim Burton movies
For those of you who don't know what I mean, Tim Burton directed pretty much all of the best movies ever, at least in my opinion. The list includes, but is not limited to: Edward Scissorhands, Coraline, Nightmare Before Christmas, 9, James and the Giant Peach, Beetlejuice, and the Corpse Bride. His movies are all slightly twisted while being oddly sweet, and get this, they're musicals! I don't even like any other musicals besides Tim Burton movies. At first, I didn't even notice they were musicals until my brother pointed it out, but they have awesome music, usually by Danny Elfman, so it's okay. I have a Nightmare Before Christmas purse and I named my guitar and my keyboard Jack and Sally, respectively.

That's pretty much the most unique things that make me happy. Also, hacky sacking is my addiction. It's pretty healthy, as far as addictions go. Other, more common things are friends, family, food, and of course music. I couldn't imagine life without music, or any of the other things on my list really, but if I had to pick one thing that I would never live without, it would have to be music.
What are the slightly strange things that make you the most happy?

Grr, I'm still sick

I have what I have designated a "death cough". It's super loud and deep and hurts my throat and happens whenever I move. So yesterday, I had a pajama day and tried not to move. I would have been extremely bored if it weren't for all of the fantastic blogs I discovered and read fully. I got my first follower! The Naked Writer from The Writing Womb started following me yesterday. But that's not enough. I need more comments, more followers, more entertaining blogs for when I'm sick and sitting at my computer all day. Make it happen people. Please? Thanks, everyone who actually reads this stuff. I am really horrible at writing in journals, but it's so much easier to blog because people read it, so there's a point. I like to pretend in my head that enough people read my blog that they will be very upset if I don't post something every single day. Yay motivation! So, please keep reading, and I'll try to do some funny things after I'm all done being sick.
Until tomorrow,
Jay

Never run with scissors

This post is not about running with scissors. However, it is about scissors. Now that that's clarified, I'll tell you my two true stories about things that I did involving scissors as a child.

Super Scary Scissors Story 1:
I think that I was two or three years old and this is my earliest memory ever. I was at church, and all of us kids had gone upstairs for our special children's church. I was the youngest and somehow an adult thought that it was a good idea to let a toddler try to cut paper with a pair of scissors all by herself. I was a pretty smart kid, and I had seen people use scissors before, so I knew what they did: they cut paper. In my young brain, scissors were magical devices that only cut paper and nothing else that might get in their way. Armed with this knowledge, I proceeded to cut my piece of paper. It was a normal sized piece of paper and I had little child sized hands so it was somewhat difficult to hold, but I managed to get a good grip on it finally. This is what happened.

In reality, I only cut one of my fingers, but it was bleeding immensely and the adult who let me use scissors somehow managed to look surprised by the fact that large amounts of blood were coming out of my finger. I'm not sure what was worse, the fact that I was in a ton of pain, the realization that scissors aren't magic at all and are in fact evil, or the fact that the pretty white paper I was trying to cut never got cut and instead ending up covered in my blood spatters. It was a pretty deep cut, but I got a bandaid and my mom yelled at the horrible grownup who let me use evil scissors, and today I still have all ten fingers. I even use scissors from time to time :)

Super Scary Scissors Story 2:
I was in kindergarten when this story took place. I was sitting at the kitchen table doing whatever homework I was supposed to be doing as a kindergartener, probably coloring or something. I was bored, and there was a pair of scissors on the table. Having overcome my fear of evil scissors, I picked them up and decided to cut my hair. I later realized that this was not a good idea.

I got my first big kid haircut after that. They had to cut it pretty short, and the lady didn't have any magazines with pictures of kid's hairstyles, so I got to pick a grownup hairstyle. My hair ended up kind of like this.

(That's not an actual picture of me)

Except for that it actually looked more like this.

(Also not me)

Now that I'm an adult, I can use scissors.

a poem i wrote before

Enjoy, or not.

Dreams are Calling

In the darkness shines a light

Hope remains alive

No way to make all the choices

Help can come from many voices

Through it all the soul rejoices

Wanting to decide

Needing to survive

Moving toward a happy life

Wonder if it can truly be

The future is too bright to see

Their love will still continue to be

If it is not, does not, happen

Asking the important questions

Everybody has got their own suggestions

Trying to get help

Help me to help myself

Your dreams are calling

Follow along

Your dreams are calling

Chase them with no

Worries of falling

Your dreams are calling

Follow along

You can reach them

Hoping

Stalling

Praying

Jump up

Reach out

Falling

Wishing

Dreams are calling

My thoughts after pasting my poem: Whoa, why is the font so ginormous? Oh well, I'll just leave it. Why is that bold? *clicks bold 5 times and it doesn't unbold at all* Oh well.

"Follow" Me?

Nobody is following me. I prefer to view this as a good thing. Do they think that they're really fooling anyone by using the word "follow" instead of "stalk"? Good job, internet people. Now I'll think of a fun game of Follow the Leader instead of some crazy person watching me sleep. I would like to have people read my blog, but I would not like to have people stalking me. Therefore, I am making myself as un-stalkable as possible. Here's how: I don't use my real name, I don't tell people where I live, I don't even link to my Facebook page. Because, newsflash, stalkers are creepy! At first, it might be kind of cute, like aww! they just love spending time with me because I'm so awesome. Then they ask for your phone number because they want to "hang out" with you sometime. Then come the neverending texts and the Facebook friend requests. Ways to tell that this person is a creepy stalker and not just adorably in love with you: One way to tell that this person is a freak and that you should get a restraining order against them is if they ever use the phrase "I want you to be the father (or mother) of my children" and they are being totally serious about it. Also, if you have access to their computer at some point and check out their most browsed pages, and their number one most browsed page is your Facebook page and or blog, you have permission to be freaked out. If they carve your name into their body, it's definitely time to run far away and get a restraining order and maybe a name change just to be safe.

This post was meant to be humorous, but stalkers really are creepy. Do your best to avoid them and don't be one yourself! So, if you still want to "Follow" my blog, I guess that's alright.

Stuff I Think

1. There are a lot of words ending in "press". Depress, impress, suppress, oppress, compress, okay well that's five not really a lot. Well, I guess it's a lot compared to like three or four.
2. If I had been born way earlier in the history of the world, I could have come up with some pretty awesome quotes. Thats a big problem nowadays, most of the really good quotes have already been said.
3. I always feel the need to eat ice cream when it's cold. It makes no sense, but I do it anyway, and then I complain about how cold I am. I never learn my lesson though. Ice cream's just too good to resist, unless you're lactose intolerant or something.
4. I love love LOVE being able to walk. Not being able to walk for about two months made me realize how many things I take for granted. If I can walk, it's a good day. It totally put everything in perspective for me.
5. "If life gives you gators, make Gatorade." I'm not sure who said that one first, but it was not me.
6. I have some very strange thoughts sometimes.
7. I want to catch a squirrel that does not have rabies and keep it as my pet and take it for walks on a leash. I would name it Spot, and I would tell everyone that it was my dog, and that he's just really little with a very fluffy tail.
8. The coolest talent ever would be juggling three Rubik's cubes while solving them while hula hooping and riding a unicycle across a tightrope over lava, blindfolded. However, that would be extremely hard to learn without dying.