How to Get People to Take Your Celiac Disease Seriously

AKA a ranty-rant of a post at 2 in the morning because I've been sick since Thursday

When you have celiac disease and you go to a restaurant that is not completely gluten-free, you'll probably have a conversation that's something like this (at least this is how the conversation sounds in my head):

you: Is the (whatever food) gluten-free?
Waiter: I think so.
you: I need to know if it is though because I have celiac disease so I can't eat gluten.
Waiter:  Would you die if you ate gluten?
you: Yes I would literally die if I ate gluten. (Because literally means figuratively now and don't even get me started on that!)
Waiter (if they are the sort of person who doesn't want to be responsible for a dead body being in the restaurant): Maybe you should eat at a different restaurant instead.

This is literally (almost) a conversation I had at a restaurant about six months after being diagnosed with celiac disease.  My friends took me there because they had gluten-free sandwiches!  After a lot of interrogation I learned that the gluten-free bread for the sandwiches is put on the same grill as the gluten bread, causing cross-contamination.  It's not all bad though because I discovered an amazing gluten-free bakery a block away and may or may not have filled up on pastry samples and then bought a dozen more pastries to take with me.

My point (if I even have one) is that gluten is a tricky little thing.  My doctor had me do an allergy test earlier this month to make sure I was getting the proper nutrients on my gluten-free diet.  I was low on vitamin D and iron, so she gave me vitamins to take to bring my energy levels back to normal.  Everything was going along normally, except I was burping a lot more than normal during the first week, but whatever!  And then on Thursday none of my food stayed down, and I thought, "Here we go again".  Because one of the super fun things about celiac disease is that without a pill that doesn't exist yet to take in addition to a gluten-free diet, you're just going to get sick every so often.  Just because.  Cut to Tuesday and I have a realization.  The symptoms started when I started taking those vitamins.  And wouldn't you know it that since stopping the vitamins and not taking the ones I was supposed to take that night, my symptoms have improved.  I even managed to keep down a half a bowl of cereal today, and then later a bowl of soup!  So I'm pretty sure that the vitamins my doctor gave me to make me better have gluten in them, despite the fact that she knows I have celiac disease because she diagnosed me and we were discussing it right before that.

So I got a week off of work unexpectedly.  But it was not fun.  I spent it in various ways of being sick, Pinning delicious looking gluten free recipes because I couldn't keep food down but I was so HUNGRY, alternating with crying a lot, and sleeping for up to 18 hours a day.  So I was frustrated.  So I ranted.  And that is all.

Dissecting Lyrics: Want U Back

I have never actually watched the video, but the radio is super into playing this brain cell killing song right now so I've heard it way too much already.  I'm assuming the video is just as or more brain killing, although her outfit is super cute in the still at the beginning, except for those boots.  Black boots would look way better.  Hooker boots would probably be better suited to the song.  For those of you who don't actually want to have to hear it, here are the lyrics.

Want U Back

Hey, boy you never had much game
So I needed to upgrade
So I went and walked away-way-way
Now I seen you been hanging out
With that other girl in town
Looking like a pair of clowns-clowns-clowns

Remember all the things that you and I did first
And now you're doing them with her
Remember all the things that you and I did first
You got me got me like this
And now you're taking her to every restaurant
And everywhere we went, come on!
And now you're taking her to every restaurant
You got me got me like this

Boy you can say anything you wanna
I don't give a sh, no one else can have you
I want you back, I want you back
Want want you, want you back
I broke it off thinking you'd be crying
Now I feel like sh looking at you flying
I want you back, I want you back
Want want you, want you back

Please, this ain't even jealousy
She ain't got a thing on me
Tryna rock them ugly jeans-jeans-jeans
You clearly didn't think this through
If what I've been told is true
You'll be crawling back like boo-hoo-hoo

Remember all the things that you and I did first
And now you're doing them with her
Remember all the things that you and I did first
You got me got me like this like this

And now you're taking her to every restaurant
And everywhere we went, come on!
And now you're taking her to every restaurant
You got me got me like this

Boy you can say anything you wanna
I don't give a sh, no one else can have you
I want you back, I want you back
Want want you, want you back
I broke it off thinking you'd be crying
Now I feel like sh looking at you flying
I want you back, I want you back
Want want you, want you back

Oooh, oooh, I thought you'd still be mine
When I kissed you goodbye uh-oh uh-oh
Oooh, oooh, and you might be with her
But I still had you first uh-oh uh-oh
Yo,
Remember all the things that you and I did first
And now you're doing them with her
Remember all the things that you and I did first
You got me got me like this

Boy you can say anything you wanna
I don't give a sh, no one else can have you
I want you back, I want you back
Want want you, want you back
I broke it off thinking you'd be crying
Now I feel like sh looking at you flying
I want you back, I want you back
Want want you, want you back

Does this sound like a helicopter
Brrrrrrrrrrrr


First off, can we just talk about the fact that the title has the "word" u in it?  Why?  Is she pretending this song is a text?  Can she just not spell "you"?  I don't know.   First off, she's complaining he never had much game.  So I can only think that she wanted him to be hitting on all the other girls while he was in a relationship with her.  But he was loyal (gasp!) so she left him.  He found some other girl and the two of them are very happy together and she's jealous.  So she insults him and them, calling them clowns, saying his jeans are ugly, and what have you.  The chorus is the part that really gets me though.  She broke up with him because she thought he would cry and then he moved on so she wants him back because no other guy wants her apparently.  Can't imagine why!  And then she thought he'd still be hers when she kissed him goodbye.  So either she thought she would be free to see other guys but he would still be with her, or that he would beg her not to break up with him.  She goes on to pout about how he's taking her to restaurants they used to go to together.  That is so ridiculous, like every time he starts a new relationship he can't go to any of the restaurants he used to go to?!  Give me a break.  And don't even get me started on the grunting noises.  Basically this song is a girl sounding as much like a spoiled little jealous baby as possible, and I hate it.  I don't know enough about Cher Loyd to pass judgment on her, nor would I, but this song doesn't make me want to listen to any of her other ones.  Oh yeah, and the part where she says it's not jealousy?  Um, beg to differ.

Babbling Garbledygook

My brain has ceased to be able to come up with meaningful post titles.

Today, I am going to rant, among other things.  Specifically, I am going to rant about the criminal justice system in the United States.  I have many different people who drive me to my classes. I usually have the same guy every day for my morning driver to my first class. He listens to NPR or something like that on the radio. I have no idea what it actually is, but they discuss news things. Anyway, a couple of days ago, every single story they had was about kids getting murdered. I am not even exagerrating, every single story. There were four or five of them. Oh wait, one of them was about an adult getting murdered, but still. So after hearing the first three stories about toddlers being murdered and the discovery of a missing preschooler's body, I was beginning to lose faith in humanity. How can people do things like that? I just don't understand. And to children even. Children are so adorable, especially as toddlers, and sure they can be annoying at times, but so can adults.  There is no good reason to kill a child, plain and simple.  Toddlers are innocent.  They just want to play and be loved. They don't see race or judge you on your physical appearance or if you talk funny. They love you regardless of whether you are fat or skinny, short or tall, as long as you love them in return.  It just completely boggles my mind to try to understand how messed up someone would have to be to hurt a child.

The fourth story was about how a serial rapist murdered a prison guard.  It should have never happened.  The prison guard was a petite woman, guarding a serial rapist who was twice her size, all by herself, without a gun.  She was supposed to supervise him while he was in the chapel.  They didn't find her body for an hour after they talked to the prisoner. The first thing I want to know is how on earth only one person, regardless of size or gender, was thought to be enough to guard a large violent criminal.  I mean, what was their thought process? Oh, well he wants to go to the chapel, so he must be asking forgiveness for his sins or something. He probably converted to a religion and now he'll be a fantastic human being, but we'll send this small woman along with him, UNARMED!, just in case he tries to pull something, which we're sure he won't.  Sure he's raped numerous woman and commited other violent crimes, but this woman will be completely safe with him, since he is obviously a great person now. I mean, he's going to the chapel and everything.  And even if somehow, he is going to the chapel to give us a false sense of security, which is totally working by the way, this woman who is half his size will be able to prevent him from causing any mischief, without any weapon whatsoever. Oh no, small woman, don't bring a gun, he's practically a saint. Then they don't even go check on her to make sure she's okay, because like they said, the guy's practically a saint.  And when they do finally go by the chapel, for some unrelated reason, they see the prisoner and have a nice little chat.  Not even once do they ask him where the woman is who is supposed to be guarding him. Then they leave and then ONE HOUR LATER, they find her dead.  If I remember correctly, she was strangled.  I wonder if they even have security cameras. Or maybe the security guard fell asleep.  Hopefully, this will open their eyes so they can make some changes and this won't happen again.  But seriously, it's just common sense not to have a small unarmed woman guarding a man twice her size, who has raped numerous women and is IN JAIL!  It is pathetic that this woman had to die before they noticed their complete lack of common sense.  It is an outrage.  I didn't even know the woman and I'm outraged, so I can only imagine what her friends and family feel.  And then after that story was a story of a man murdering his wife and child and stabbing them 20 times! But he admitted that he did it, so they're not giving him the death penalty.  He has two consecutive life sentences, but honestly that doesn't even mean anything, since people can get out early on good behavior.  To summarize, the thought process of our criminal justice system is unimaginable and their lack of common sense is appalling. Okay, rant over.

On to happier things. I had my first dinner with C last night. It was the Chinese New Year so there was a Chinese food buffet.  Most of the food was pretty good, but some of it wasn't that great. The barbecue pork fried rice was great and the almond cake was absolutely divine. My fortune cookie told me to learn a foreign language. I don't like getting bossed around by fortune cookies. I'm learning Latin because I feel like it, not because some stupid yet delicious fortune cookie tells me too. C's fortune said to ask an elderly person for advice. We didn't talk a whole lot, since we were pretty busy eating. I would have talked more but I was afraid that I would say something stupid. Also, it was really loud, so when we did talk, we had to keep repeating what we said. It went well though, and I don't think I said anything too stupid, although somehow in line we started discussing eating bugs and then I told him the story of how I once ate rocks. He found it humorous and I was three, so it's not like I said that I like to eat rocks now, which by the way I don't.  Hopefully, the more we eat together, the less worried I will become about saying something stupid.

Today I decided that I would like to start painting shoes.  I have this one pair of shoes that I drew on with Sharpies last year and it turned out really cool, but I didn't make them match and they no longer fit me.  I think it would be cool to use actual paint and maybe sell them if I get good enough. Anyway, I'll be taking a trip to Goodwill pretty soon to find some shoes I can practice on.

I'm going to go read my novel for Finnish and watch The Sixth Sense, which I haven't seen yet. Don't be all shocked about that because I'm going to watch it right now and then I will have seen it, because after you watch a movie, then you saw it.  Talk about redundancy.  You know who's hilarious? Brian Regan, and Flight of the Conchords.

A unique assortment of various miscellaneous randomness

I had my doctor's appointment today. I don't want to bore you with the details, but it went great.  I had the most ginormous and deliciously filling Philly cheesteak for lunch today.  It was like someone slaughtered a cow and then put half of it on my sandwich, after cooking and seasoning it. Sorry for any mental images that might have caused my non-carnivore reader-friends.  I had to remove half of the meat before I could close the sandwich. I hardly even touched the fries.

I really want to bake cookies, but of course, I can't.  Not only do I have a tendency to burn myself while baking cookies even when I can walk, but I don't have a cookie sheet or ingredients.  I think I'll compromise by getting a delicious frozen Oreo pie thing.  And that is a compromise because I said so.

I am going to work on my shirt designs today. I do realize that it is 6:00 and it's dark out, but it still today in my mind and not tonight.

There's only one week left until my birthday!

I finally got this nifty thing called a card fob that I can scan and have certain doors open for me automatically, because I'm in a wheelchair and they finally realized how hard it is for me to open doors on my own. I haven't used it yet.  One of the two elevators in our building is broken. That means waiting forever for the elevator.  I get that there are 11 floors in this building but if you live on floor 6 or lower, you should be perfectly capable of taking the stairs.  Some people are just really lazy and wait for the elevator and then they all cram in ahead of me so I don't fit and have to wait even longer. What happened to being nice to the handicapped person? They used to hold the elevator for me if I was still 50 feet away. </rant>

There were other things I planned to say but I forgot them, so bye.

I remembered one of them! I completely forgot to mention Portlandia! I watched the first episode last night and it was hilarious. I was laughing loudly the whole time. I'm pretty sure I have seen some of those people in Portland too. It's a relatively accurate portrayal + satire. A winning combination in my book. It made me want to join an adult hide and seek league, even though that would be difficult in my wheelchair, but I can imagine that really taking off on my college campus.