I Read Fashion Magazines for the Laughs

First watch this video to learn how to properly read a fashion magazine.





Now that you've learned how to read a fashion magazine, you can see the humor for yourself!  Here are just a few funny things I've spotted in various fashion magazines (mostly Elle and Lucky).  Now don't get me wrong, there are some cute things and helpful tips in these magazines too, but I mostly read them for the laughs.


-Wearing pastel makes you a rockstar.  I'm sorry, Lucky magazine, but no matter how many times you say this, it will never be true.  Wearing pastel makes you girly or a fairy princess, or if you're a male it makes you confident in your masculinity, but it does not make you a rockstar.

-Apparently if models wore shirts under their jackets or blazers in advertisements, it would be way too distracting from the product being sold.  Everybody would wonder, are they trying to sell me this shirt or that bottle of perfume hovering in the middle of the photo?

-Sometimes models get in trouble and they have to cut their hair super short, but not in a cute way, in a way that looks completely terrible.

-Lots of times models have to wear super ugly clothing, but it's okay because they get paid lots of money for it.  And then fashion magazines use those pictures to convince the unsuspecting public that those ugly outfits are really fashionable.  Well I'm not buying it, either literally or figuratively.

There's lots more but I have to go to the U District and finally buy "new" (aka thrifted but still in like new condition) shoes because mine literally ripped when I put them on yesterday.  Happy weekend, you lovely people, you.

Jobs I Wish I Could Have

In the midst of applying for a ton of different jobs, some of which are kind of awesome (I seriously want to work at Marshall's!) and some that are not so great (7-11 cashier), I have found myself wishing for other jobs entirely.  Some of these jobs might not even exist, but I still want them anyway. So behold, a list of things that I wish someone would pay me to do!

1. Be a hacky sack extra: If you pay attention when watching any movie (or tv show) ever that has involved a college or high school, you will notice they all have one thing in common.  There will be people hacky sacking at some point in the movie (or tv show).  They are usually kind of terrible at it too.  I could be that hacky sack extra! And I'm also pretty good at keeping it up for a while. (Get your mind out of the gutter.)  Sure people might be a little distracted from the actual plot development when they notice that there's a female who's pretty awesome at hacky sacking (a very male dominated activity), in the background.  But I could mess up on purpose a few times so I'm not so distracting.  Fun fact: I was president of the hacky sack club at my university during my sophomore year.

You probably think this wasn't me becuase of the pink shoes. Well my art professor decided the shot needed more contrast,
so I borrowed my roommate's pink shoes.  Also skinny jeans are way better for hacky sacking than flared legs.

2. Read books and watch movies: This is something I do all the time anyway, so I wish that someone would pay me for it.  I would review them and everything, which I already do with lots of movies.

3. Give my opinion on every single thing ever: Give me a topic and I'll tell you what I think about it.  If I don't know what the topic actually is, I'll just make something up.  Why won't anyone pay me to do this?  I love talking about my opinion all day long: I love this show, this hot chocolate is awesome, oh no I think I have food poisoning, ginger ale is awesome.  It's a gift, really.

4. Eat ice cream: I am so serious right now. How do I get a job as a new ice cream flavor sampler, because sign me up right now!  I don't think it's any secret that I love my ice cream.  It's also a good source of calcium when I don't drink milk regularly, except on my Lucky Charms.  Just call me a health superhero.

5. Write the sayings on the insides of Sobe caps: This is clearly a job that someone does, and I have a feeling that the person who does this job does not speak English fluently.  I can generate random phrases with the best of them.  (Sidenote: I've had multiple Sobe caps that said "Get Out of There" on them; I don't like it when my beverage tries to frighten me)  So, Sobe cap saying generator person, I take your "fist pump" and raise you a "party rock"  Your move buddy.  Here's one more to think about "YOLO".  (Obviously I wouldn't use YOLO or party rock.  Those are merely sarcastic examples.)

Oh no, it seems that I have written another list with a normal number of items on it. Oh well, I'm going back to bed now.  Who has two thumbs and couldn't fall asleep until 5 in the morning? This girl.

Nerdy and I Know It

You may have gathered/I may have mentioned that I am a nerd. But I am not sure that I have ever posted a list of the reasons why I am a nerd. And I figure that this blog needs more bulleted lists. So here we go!

1. Every time I read "here we go" anywhere, I read it in the voice of Mario.

1. I am a word nerd.

• I love puns.
• I have loved to read books ever since I learned how when I was 3. Fun fact: I got a trophy in elementary school because I read over 1,000 books. It is the only personal trophy I've ever gotten.
• I love learning new words, and I am all about the vocabulary quiz on FreeRice.com.
• I love alliteration too.
• I also sort of collect fonts on my laptop, but only good ones that are also free (which are hard to find).
• People who insult people and use "your" where they should use "you're" make me laugh at them.
• I'm not a grammar Nazi, at least not outwardly. I keep all of my corrections to other people's grammar to myself.
• I also enjoy solving crossword puzzles, and doing fill-in puzzles (they're like crosswords mixed with logic puzzles).
• I read/devour webcomics. (This one will get its own post very soon.)

2. I am a logic nerd.

• I love logic problems.
• I also love Sudoku and its nerdier cousin Kakuro.
• I think that cryptography (coding and decoding) is fascinating.
• I have lots of different Rubik's cubes. I even know how to solve some of them.

Not pictured: I also have two ordinary Rubik's cubes, aka the 3x3. I know how to solve
the 3x3 as well as the weird segmented 2x2 in the upper right corner of this picture.

3. I am sort of a video game/computer game nerd.

• I don't play a whole lot of video games anymore, mainly because I feel bad about kicking G off his own TV so I can play video games, and I'm too poor to buy my own and still be able to pay my rent.
• I used to play lots of video games.
• My mom had a rule when my brother and I were young that we could only play video games for 20 minutes a day, and we had to set a timer.  We weren't allowed to own video games untl I was 10 and my brother was 12. At that time my mom reluctantly bought us an original Game Boy at a yard sale for $5. We had to share it and we amassed quite a few games for it. One of these was called Bugs Bunny's Crazy Castle.  It was one of those annoying games where you can't save it but when you beat a level, it gives you a password that you can enter to continue from the last level you beat instead of having to start over from the beginning.  The first time I broke the 20 minute rule, it was with the Bugs Bunny game.  My grandparents were watching us while my mom was visiting my uncle in the hospital after his motorcycle accident. I played Bugs Bunny for at least 2 hours straight, but probably more like 4 hours.  I saw Bugs Bunnys running around in my vision for at least two hours after I stopped playing. It was slightly worrisome.  After that my mom realized that you can't accomplish a whole lot on any video game within 20 minutes, so she upped our time limit to one hour a day, and two hours during the summer, but only one hour at a time twice a day.
• Over the years of living at home, my brother and I acquired one lime green Game Boy Color which we shared, a Game Boy Advance SP each, and a Nintendo DS each. My brother bought consoles after moving out but I didn't.  We also amassed quite an impressive collection of games.  My favorites were anything Zelda, anything Mario, and Golden Sun.  For those of you who don't know, Golden Sun is an incredibly epic RPG. I still have my Game Boy Advance SP, but I sold my Nintendo DS at the beginning of last summer to get rent money.
• I currently know how to play music from both Zelda and Mario on both my flute and my guitar.
• I want a Link hat and I want Mario character plushies, but I won't buy them because I don't have money for both them and rent.
• I drew a really cool picture of Link when I was 12. I'll have to find my old sketchbook next time I go home and scan the drawings for you.
• I used to play Runescape, when I was in middle school.
• I learned that MMORPGs are much too addictive for me to handle, so now I steer clear of them.
• I still love to play flash-based browser games, especially point and click games and escape the room games.

5. I am a sci fi nerd.

• This post is already pretty long, so I'll try to keep this one short. I like sci fi shows, books, and movies.
• Star Wars is my one true love. Sidenote: They make real life lightsabers now, and they've been advertised on my blog sometimes in my Project Wonderful ads. They're actually lasers and not intended for use as weapons. Also? I want a Chewbacca plushie. Also also? I am a Jedi.
• I need to watch the X Files and I need to finish the 7th season of Buffy.
• I'm not sure if supernatural shows count as sci fi, but I am counting it anyway. I love the series Supernatural and I love the series Reaper, which I discovered on Netflix and watched both seasons in 3 days.
• Doctor Who also has a special place in my heart.
• There is a third Men in Black movie and it involves time travel. I have not decided how I feel about this yet.
• I took a contemporary literature class in college that was all about sci fi movies and books. It was one of the coolest classes ever.
• I have and love a Back to the Future shirt.
• Zombies aren't sci fi in my opinion. (It could seriously really happen!) But I'll put that I love zombie-related stuff in this category anyway.
• Pottermore: I know that I need to read the books, but I definitely went through the first book on Pottermore in one evening. It's kind of like a point-and-click game combined with reading and I love it.

8. There's probably a ton more stuff that I'll think of later, but I think this is enough for now.